He calls me a liar and a prostitute, but I love him

Hi Philip,

I have had a long distance relationship for the last two and half years, which has mostly been conducted through the phone. We have never seen each other since we started dating though the guy is from my village but now lives in the UK.

We started off very well and quickly fell in love with each other such that I wanted to get married to him immediately.

After one year, I started noticing some unusual things about him; he started becoming angry with me over little things, and all along he has been asking about me from anyone he knows, including his best friend from our village and other girls I went to school with.

He was told all sorts of negative stories and it affected him so much.

His suspicions started after I mistakenly told him I was doing three courses instead of four in college. He was very mad about this, saying that I was a liar. Even though we talked about it and he forgave me, he has never trusted anything I do or tell him usually.

Despite all this, he has been helping me financially and I really appreciate it. We are also planning on how we meet face to face and discuss our future plans, like getting married and having children.

Like I mentioned earlier, my boyfriend is very hot tempered and when he is angry he usually tells me that he can’t trust me and that I am a stupid girl and a prostitute who has slept with many men, which is not true.

When I try to end the relationship, he threatens me that if I do, he will make sure that I will never be happy, that he will destroy me and that I will have to give him back every coin he has given me or spent on me.

When he calms down, he apologises, saying that he didn’t know what he was saying and promises that it won’t happen again. But it does happen again.

I know this hot temper, especially when I have contributed to his anger is his weakness, but I love him dearly and I always try to be good to him and to understand him.

I understand his anger and have accepted this, so now I’m learning how to handle him. Aside from the temper, he is a good and God fearing person and we usually pray together whenever we have a chance; this is what keeps me going, faith in God.

Tell me, how I can make it work with my boyfriend? Is there any future with him?

Hi,

I must say that you situation is unique. How can you be so much in love with a man you have not seen in a very long time. I see nothing wrong in your boyfriend wanting to know more about you from your neighbours, fellow villagers, and friends. In fact, if you were committed, you would have had nothing to worry about.

Your worry comes because you were afraid he might find some things about you that you did not want him to know.

I really do not think the issue with the exam was the only thing that could have caused him to get this mad. Were the stories told to him true, partially true or totally false? If they were true or partially true then you can see why he became angry and called you a liar.

However, if you are right and he still believes you are a liar, I would suggest that you re-evaluate you walk with him. You are not yet married, and if I were you, would hesitate to commit.