Help! My wife is married to another
Posted Monday, September 10 2012 at 01:00
I am 30 and married. We have two sons, one of whom my wife had before we met. Two months ago, I found out that she is married to another man, who is the father of the boy.
What can I do to get out of this mess? Should I run away and start a new life because I even lost my job because of the resultant stress?
Your question is not quite clear. However, I will attempt to respond because I see yours as a very interesting scenario. You married your wife while she had one child, and I am assuming that the second child is yours.
If your wife lied to you that she was single when she was actually married, I suggest that you let her go back to her husband.
Otherwise you would be considered to be in an adulterous relationship if you continued living with her.
That said, I would like to ask how it is possible that you could marry a married woman. Is it a come-we-stay relationship or are you legally married?
If, indeed, you are officially married and yet she is still married to the other man, then it could be that you did not do your homework well and you need to untangle yourself.
Secondly, you need to think of what will happen to your child. If both children are not yours, then you need to let her continue her marriage and move on.
I’m trying hard to match my wife’s colourful past
I am a married man aged 29. When I was a child, my aspiration was to be a celibate priest, so I kept females at bay. After realising that this was not my calling, I quickly changed my plans for the future.
I eloped at the age of 27 after securing a well-paying job. However, before my fiancée moved in, I was involved with another woman.
After my wife moved in, she told me the story of her colourful love life and I felt that I was lagging behind, so I decided to have more sexual adventures to match her adventures.
My wife is suspicious, but I am careful. I have four “clandes” and I want to leave them, but none is ready to be dropped. Is this some sort of obsessive compulsive disorder, or I am being a social misfit? Please advise me because I do not know where I am heading.
As I read your mail, I wondered what happened to the values you once upheld as you pursued priesthood. I urge you to weigh your choices. Our choices are based on our thought patterns, beliefs, and values.