Kenya’s donation to Japan a revolting publicity stunt

Three times in a row, Scotland rejected the Conservatives at the poll, but the Conservatives won in England... and that is all that mattered. England had the bulk of the vote and the Scots were not as essential.

This was the scene as Conservative Premier Margaret Thatcher made her second most famous speech to the assembly of the Church of Scotland, the closest thing Scotland had then to a national parliament.

Scotland, one insult went, was the only European country with two houses of parliament but no parliament to speak of.

Margaret Thatcher was usually played to her opponents’ less admirable instincts. She was irritatingly, stubbornly, aggressively, irredeemably right wing.

Thatcher’s was a wrecking ball across the British industry, especially with her preaching and adherence to the gospel of the free market and privatisation.

She single-handedly did what the Luftwaffe couldn’t: she killed British industry dead. Her policies had particularly impacted Scotland because Scots were heavily reliant on heavy industry.

She said in her speech that the Good Samaritan was not only charitable because he was kind, but he was charitable because he was rich.

It was a brilliant argument. Argument was her stock in trade.

Devil can cite scripture

But that was yet another case of a politician plumbing the depths of scripture for moral authority to advance their policy.

It reminds me of a line from a set book that the Kenya Institute of Education saw fit for me to endure, The Merchant of Venice, from Antonio to his homoerotic friend Bassanio “Mark you this Bassanio; the devil can cite scripture for his purpose.”

Hers was a most sinuous interpretation of the parable of the Good Samaritan. But after reading news of Kenya’s donation of $1 million to Japan to aid in reconstruction, I couldn’t agree more.

Magnanimity is the prerogative of the powerful while charity is the preserve of the rich. Real compassion is only possible where there is means to be compassionate.

Kenya is skint, running on IOUs. We are church mouse broke and have a growing deficit. Our budget is subsidised by foreign aid and always characterised by heavy borrowing.

Japan was hit by an earthquake of unimaginable severity followed by a tsunami which caused damage on a Biblical scale.

The before and after images that the media beamed to the world were heart-rending, and the natural instinct was to reach out and help.

We live in liberal times where humanity’s “oneness” is constantly preached and the ability to reach out to help others, even when they are half way around the world, is a source of comfort.

All decent people believe in charity. Religion compels us to do so, starting with giving to the Church. And every one knows non-governmental organisations are driven by human kindness.

Miserliness is the only characteristic in men that repels women faster than halitosis. It is in vogue for celebrities to have their own mini charities for various causes to further ensure that they get favourable publicity.

You aren’t a Hollywood celebrity worth mentioning until you spend some of that obscene amount of money you make in Africa, fighting jiggers or walking around looking forlorn in the state of Darfur during the day before retiring to your rented villa at night.

In fact, we are deep in the second era of the Scramble for Africa, with A-list celebrities adopting whole countries under their altruistic aegis.

So far Madonna is the Patron Saint of Malawi, Oprah South Africa, and George Clooney Darfur. Kibera is still up for grabs and a few celebrities have come prospecting, but no one has seen fit to adopt it.

Back to Japan, if we were to include the total amount of money the Japanese government donates to aid, grants, and contribution in technical assistance, Japan’s total official development assistance in 2010 was 1.9 trillion yen or Sh2 trillion.

Simply put, twice our annual budget. The Japanese government also stated that despite being hit by the catastrophe, it shall not relent on its previous donor pledges.

Japan also said repeatedly that it does not require any financial assistance to meet the aftermath of the tragedy.

Still, the Red Cross of America (America really knows a thing or two about listening to world opinion) went ahead and donated money.

The cost of reconstruction after the earthquake has been put at about $200 billion. Therefore Kenya contributed about a two-thousandth of a per cent.

This is pissing in the wind. This is like donating a dustpan to help clearing up after an earthquake.

Princely sum

But the winner of the parsimony stakes happens to be Taiwan. Taiwan is an imaginary country off the coast of China, according to China.

And Taiwan saw it fit to donate the princely sum of $300,000 dollars to her former colonial master Japan.

That a country addicted to foreign aid should make a donation to the largest aid giver globally beggars belief.

It is the equivalent of an anaemic lining up for blood donation. Paupers lending princes pennies. Robbing Wanjiku to pay a Chrysanthemum Croesus.

And to do so after that country has reassured others that it is well placed to meet the challenge is a sign of intransigence.

Kenya imports water from countries that do not have rivers, and now donates money to countries that don’t need it.

This was too exorbitant a public relations stunt. I wouldn’t be surprised if the money is used internally by the Kenyan Japanese embassy as petty cash.

Some, however, may come up with that get-out-of-jail card for the boyfriend who balls-up their girlfriend’s birthday present: It’s the thought that counts. Well, I say think harder next time.

I also could find no evidence of the government’s contribution to Haiti after their earthquake. Haiti being the poorest country in the western hemisphere really needed the money.

Japan is well-off and has said repeatedly that it is up to the task of rebuilding. A million dollars in Kenya could be very useful.

Just think of how many presidential suites at the Waldorf Astoria it could get? Just imagine how many lawyers we could hire for the Hague suspects.

How many commissions could we set up with a million dollars? And if there is any of it left over, it could be used for less pressing issues like resettling the IDPs.

Clearly, our government is running out of ingenious ways to blow our money.

If we really want to help Japan, we should ensure that the money it grants Kenya (Kenya happens to be the largest recipient of Japanese aid in Africa) is put to the best use and not wasted in propping up a bloated government’s recurrent expenditure.

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Cut Raila some slack, he is the PM

Being the Prime Minister is stressful.

You have to rack up air miles of first class travel, run out of pages in your passport for all the stamps, visit the choicest of cities worldwide, constantly meet foreign dignitaries, make speeches written by your assistants, ride in a motorcade replete with outriders, endure blinding flashes of Press photographers’ cameras, grace kilometres of red carpets and, horror of all horrors, subject your stomach to the calorific onslaught that is the five star hotel buffet table.

Few men can withstand such pressure, especially the last part. Putting your waistline on the line for service to your country is one of the most honourable things a leader can do.

But the worst part of it all is to come home and be questioned about staying at the presidential suite of a New York hotel.

Don’t they know that the presidential suite is in line with one’s presidential ambitions for 2012?

Perhaps in line with the 50-50 agreement that is the National Accord, all major hotels countrywide should build a prime ministerial wing next to the presidential wing. And it must have a red carpet.

I honestly think the confected outrage at Prime Minister Raila Odinga’s foreign trips is all personal animus from his opponents.

No one would utter a word if (“when” is more like it) the President does the same.

Of course the prime minister of a republic should be kept in the cossetted lap of the luxury he, and indeed all dignitaries of his calibre, are accustomed to.

My problem is with the Premier and the Vice-President’s increasing number of foreign trips. When a leader is more comfortable bathing in a foreigner’s adoration than he is at home, surely the end is near.

Tony Blair came to Africa for his thanksgiving tour, as did George Bush — perhaps because the crowds at home wouldn’t be as appreciative of their visit.

Thatcher was in Paris as the leadership election that eventually cost her the premiership was going on in London. Leaders, evidently, go abroad to get a respite from domestic trouble.

Travel broadens the mind, but in politics it narrows the vote. Leaders addicted to the bright lights of the international stage usually lose out on the home front.

Perhaps the two should concentrate their efforts on wooing Kenyans ahead of the 2012 vote.

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