All amiss at Miss University Africa

This Thursday marked the end of the search for the next Kenyan representative to the Miss University Africa pageant.

The grand finale went down at the Carnivore where 24 beauties from universities across the country faced off for the ultimate crown and a chance to represent Kenya at the continental pageant in The Gambia in March this year.

The stage was set for an electrifying night and indeed comrades were not to be disappointed.

All the big names were in attendance. From Daniella to Tyra and even Waitherero, they all represented.

If you haven’t figured it out by now, we are talking about weaves. My word! This pageant was like a get together for weaves.

Good weaves, bad weaves, shiny ones, long, short, black, brown and blonde ones. You just can’t make this stuff up… or can you?

Then came the talent contest where all the participants were expected to showcase their unique talents to the audience and judges.

But judging by the kind of stuff these ladies were purporting to be good at, it’s painful to imagine what their bad side looks like.

First there was Ruth Wairimu who apparently is a talented cook.

To begin with, when she showed up on stage with some square contraption and some plates everyone thought she was going to teach Dj Kamjo who was the deckmaster of the night a few tricks, with plates.

That would’ve been really cool, no? It turns out the contraption was actually a portable gas cooker which suddenly suffered from stage fright and refused to go on.

But being the talented cook she was, Ruth quickly pulled a ready made meal out her weave, eer, bag and voila, the show would still go on.

Admit guys there aren’t many cooks out there who specialise in cooking ready made meals. Way to go KEMU!

Next was Josephine Wambui representing the lakeside. The cringed faces from the members of the Maseno University entourage when she announced that her talent was singing should have sent the first warning signs.

It was not until she squeezed the first notes, or were they coins, out of her throat that reality really hit.

If TPF’s judge Ian were on the panel that night he would probably have recommended her voice to be exiled to some bottomless abyss on a remote island in Lake Victoria.

Well, the verdict is out now anyway so it doesn’t really matter now does it?

It didn’t help that her fellow contestant from USIU also seemed to have some misguided conviction that a second-hand accent was all that was needed to make one a qualified singer.