These days dating can be a nightmare. Like your new friend could be married.
Get suspicious if they keep touching where a ring should be. Or they avoid being close in public, like they’re afraid you’ll be spotted together.
Or they’re reluctant to do stuff at weekends. And don’t trust anyone who’s phone’s often off, or who rarely picks up your calls in the evenings. They may be sitting next to someone else...
Or your date might be a con merchant. Are they forever changing dates at the last minute? Making lots of unexplained phone calls?
You only know their first name – and nothing about their past? They mention financial problems or the possibility of a loan...?
Your date may even be dangerous. Watch for a wild temper, aggression, heavy drinking, a long string of relationships or a difficult family background.
Take care – especially if their behaviour’s ever even slightly weird. And trust your instincts. If something feels wrong, it is wrong. End the relationship immediately.
And be wary after the break up. Your ex might become obsessive – remember “Fatal Attraction”? Change your number – and stick close to your friends. Having people around is a great deterrent – especially big ones!
Maybe someone’s paying you too much attention and you’re not interested? They’re seriously good looking, no doubt, and don’t seem to sense your reluctance?
Be rude if necessary. Or knock over your glass. Make sure they’re soaked somewhere sensitive, apologise weakly – and move off.
Really need to escape? Go to the washrooms. Call a taxi or a friend – always have some reliable numbers on your phone.
Wait until they arrive and walk quickly out to meet them. Don’t look back as you leave.
Perhaps everything’s fine, but things are just going too fast? Stop someone holding your hand by adjusting your hair.
Fake coughs and sneezes to fend off unwanted kisses. Or sniff lots and say you’re catching a cold. Send clear messages – politely at first – that you want to go slower.
Space out your dates, and don’t talk about the future. Especially anything you aren’t too comfortable with, like weekends away or moving in together.
Or maybe you’re both keen and things are progressing towards the bedroom? Follow the Golden Rule: it’s the lady who sets the pace.
And guys: learn how to help remove her clothes without stopping the action. Especially bras. Real men can remove them completely, one-handed, from under her dress!
What if you wake up next to someone and can’t remember their name? Don’t panic! Don’t guess or go through their things. Call them ‘Sweetie’ or whatever for now.
And as they’re leaving, exchange business cards. If they don’t have one, ask them to write their details on the back of one of yours.
But at least if you got this far, things must be going mostly right. So have fun – but never let your guard down...