How to protect children from porn

A child takes part in an anti-child pornography rally in Manila November 19, 2008. Photo/FILE

Once upon a time, children found out all about sex by talking about it. Nowadays, they go to the internet.

And admittedly, there are websites that offer them helpful information – but far more are simply revolting. So be warned. Your children might be looking at some extremely weird behaviour. And thinking it is normal.

There is nothing new about pornography, of course. When Victorian Europeans excavated Pompeii 150 years ago, for example, they were shocked to find so much Ancient Roman erotic art.

They hid it away in a “Secret Museum” and restricted access to “people of mature age and respected morals”. It is currently housed in a special room in the Naples National Archeological Museum.

But nowadays, young people have easy access to internet porn, and that is not good news.

Why? Because boys who visit porn sites are more likely to think sexual harassment is acceptable, and to consider “normal” sex boring.

Worse too is that girls worry about what they should look like – because they’ll never match up to the porn stars – and develop distorted ideas about what is “sexy”.

So it is now common to see even very young girls striking provocative poses and posting pictures of themselves in their underwear on the internet – though in reality they don’t have any idea what they’re doing. 

Both boys and girls also risk developing very exaggerated ideas of how couples should behave together – even though most of them believe they can separate fact from fantasy.

They may be right – but maybe not. Because pornography is highly addictive, and viewers quickly become desensitised by it and start wanting yet more excitement.

Research on pornography is completely inconclusive. For example, some studies suggest it increases sexual crimes, some show no effects, others a decrease!

So there are those who dispute the dangers, arguing for example that pornography just takes the mystery out of sex for young people, and doesn’t change how they behave.

But feminists argue that it’s demeaning to women and encourages rape and sexual harassment, while religious groups argue against it from broader beliefs about human sexuality.

Fortunately, most countries restrict children’s access to pornography, for example by controlling adult magazines. But the plain fact is that the internet gets past all of these efforts.

So how can you protect your children? Well don’t give them smart-phones for a start! Assume they’ll lie about their surfing and monitor their internet use.

Restrict them to computers in your living room rather than their bedrooms, and install parental access software – although kids are savvy enough to get round it eventually – and it doesn’t work that well anyway.

So talk to them. Encourage them to talk to you about anything that disturbs them. And above all, explain to them that making love is about caring for your partner, and that although some people do like looking at pictures of other people having sex, what’s on the internet is nothing like the real thing.