Sunday, March 10, 2013

No strings attached affection

ILLUSTRATION | IGAH Develop secret signals that make everything perfectly clear! Little rituals that set the scene.

ILLUSTRATION | IGAH Develop secret signals that make everything perfectly clear! Little rituals that set the scene.  NATION MEDIA GROUP

By CHRIS HART

Every couple likes kissing and cuddling. Or do they? Many end up thinking that romance is just an invitation to get between the sheets. So no one gets a hug unless both are already in the mood. While anyone who just wants a little “no strings attached” smooching gets left out in the cold.

And even the most experienced couples can find it hard to tell each other exactly what they want. So no one ever knows what’s on the agenda for the evening. It’s like they’re always on a first date. Both stuck on the starting line, wondering if they’ll ever get to the finish.

It helps if you avoid getting into a rut. Both of you taking the lead from time to time. And varying things so it’s not like you’re always following the same script. So that sometimes a hug turns into lovemaking and sometimes it doesn’t.

Think, too, how you normally communicate. If all you ever talk about is everyday stuff like what to have for dinner, chances are your love life’s going to be pretty boring as well.

So learn how to talk about sex — without the slightest embarrassment! Agree that affection is not the same as lovemaking, so that kissing and cuddling doesn’t always have to lead to the bedroom. Because the happiest couples are always very close. Somehow they’re always flirting, and they touch a lot. But it’s all just for fun.

Then you’ll be able to get as close as you like — to talk, touch, and be affectionate — without worrying about the consequences. But if the temperature does start to rise? Then let nature take it’s course! Because the most successful couples make love as often as they can — and always seem to have a whiff of intimacy around them.

That’s the sort of closeness that really cements couples together. Forever. But even for them, it can be hard to read each other’s minds. No-one wants to ask — or to say no...

The answer’s to develop secret signals that make everything perfectly clear! Little rituals which set the scene — and without a single word being spoken...

Like using a particular scent to say you’re feeling frisky. Wearing your cotton pyjamas to say “not tonight!” Lighting a candle for romance.

Or just sitting a little closer together as you watch the news.

Your welcome home kiss can say it all — by that not-so-innocent look in your eyes. Or by being just a little bit annoying and mischievous...

And your CD collection can take on a whole new meaning: this one says “seduction!” while this one says “cool it....”

Now you’re always on the same page. Whether you’re feeling romantic or raunchy.

But what if your mood changes during the evening — either way? Come out and say what you’re feeling. So your partner is never confused, and knows exactly what you want, all the time. Whether it’s romance, passion or a good night’s sleep!

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