Prioritise your day by putting the rocks in first

In his speaking engagements, author Stephen R. Covey of the 7 Habits series uses a powerful illustration of how most people’s priorities are not aligned to how they spend their days or week.

He takes an empty jar and asks a participant to fill it with a handful of sand, pebbles and small sized rocks.

Most participants fill the jar to the brim but leave out some of the sand, pebbles and rocks. It can’t be done, they say.

Then Covey empties the jar and proceeds to show how it is done. He puts in the big rocks first, followed by the pebbles and finally the sand. Everything fits. The secret he says, is to put in the big rocks first.

This illustration is useful for anyone who has ever walked into an office wondering how they will accomplish everything on their plate.

It is helpful to the parent who feels overwhelmed by the numerous family demands she or he has to cater to.

The thing is, we all get the same amount of hours in a day, so how is it that others manage to accomplish more than we do?

The answers are in Covey’s jar of sand, rocks and pebbles.

The big rocks represent our most important priorities, be it in our career or with our family.

Our pebbles are the secondary aspects of our life, while the sand is the good to do but not entirely important aspects.

Take the job for instance. We walk into the office and then in no particular order, begin to get the work cleared.

We might return a phone call from a possible client, give ear to a complaining colleague, and respond to all the unopened emails.

Eventually, we get to that report that is due. At the end of the day, we managed to do a little of this and that, not really completing all the important tasks yet we hardly left our desks. What went wrong?

The same scenario is played out in the family. Take the case of my son who loves playing electronic games.

He has a good friend with similar interests. When the two boys are together, hands on gadgets, they play this game or that, only briefly giving exclamations of success over a win or disappointment when things go wrong.

I’m intrigued by their relationship, so every time I pass by, I ask, “What are you boys doing?” They answer without looking up, “We’re bonding!” they say in unison.

How, I ask, do you bond with someone when your ears are plugged up with earphones, your eyes glued to a screen and your hands furiously hitting a key or game pad?

Yet so many families are like this. Together yet apart. They meet for certain rituals but rarely make soul connections.