Dr Chris Hart on why married parties become target

According to psychologist and relationship expert Dr. Chris Hart, dating a married person or falling in love with a distant person may run in families. But more likely it’s something that runs at the back of their minds.

For example, both men and women tend to fall for people whose appearance, voice, gestures and so on, match someone who was important to them in the past. Let’s look at a scenario where your ex (the one you loved) had a special way of dressing.

And then you meet a guy who does the same. In this case, there will be an instant rapport even though you can’t quite figure out why you are so drawn to this new guy.

Secondly, women also have a subconscious tendency to look for someone with similar characteristics to their father. Contrary to popular belief, the reason why some women go after married men is not always malicious.

Why would a woman cling to man she has no future with? Other times, the married man in question could be the guy who reminds her of the first time she made love. If it was a happy event, a woman will unconsciously seek out dates who remind her of her first love. Unfortunately, some of these men might be married.

Thirdly, as adults, we tend to seek out emotional situations like those in our childhood. So if your parents weren’t around much for you, then you’re used to feeling ignored. Whether you are a man or woman, you will have the tendency seek partners who neglect you.

It’s obvious that a married person will not have all the time for you, or they might not take care of all your emotional needs.

In other cases, people who date married men or women might be looking for something that was missing in their lives when they were growing up. So if your parents were distant towards you, you’d probably seek out a partner who is distant.

See the connection with always falling for people who are married? Once is just bad luck. But fall for several and somehow you’re deliberately choosing them. More often than not, this is usually because of things that happened during your childhood.

If your parents kept putting you down, you end up falling for someone who does not deserve to be loved by you, like a married man for example.

Coming a poor second to someone else’s partner is all you think you have a right to. Another reason why some people go after married parties is because they are scared of intimacy.

The reason behind this could be that they were physically or emotionally abused by parents or past lovers. Because they are afraid of letting anyone get close to them, they choose people who can’t (married people).

If any of the above apply to you and there are patterns, then your past is definitely accountable for your problems. For a start, make sure you look for particular signs that are repetitive in any potential new partner, and avoid them.

But besides these psychological explanations, Dr. Hart also adds that many modern individuals would rather go for a married man or woman simply because he or she presents an attractive proposition.

It’s true that many young people today prefer a no-strings attached relationship with someone who will not insist on being with you all the time, but who will provide money and stuff.

Generally, in today’s lifestyle, people go for those who’ve been tried and tested, and most of these come with the tag “married”. And in most cases, there are loads of women who fancy men simply because someone else has chosen them too!

As for guys who go after married women, well, most of them will chase anything in a skirt and married women are no exception!

So when a man like that comes across a married woman looking for a little excitement in her life, will anything stand in their way...?