It’s a shame when a mature woman misbehaves in public

Thanks to women like Madonna, Oprah Winfrey and Angela Bassett, women are being told that 50 is the new 30 and that every woman should be looking forward to that magic age. 

Looking at Madonna’s abs and Ms Bassett’s rock hard arms, I have been thinking that perhaps 50 is the age to look forward to. However, following a rather ugly incident that I witnessed recently, I am beginning to rethink this theory.

I was at the centre of an incident where a mature (read over 50) woman behaved very badly, spewing unprintable words that had even me blushing. Her issue was that someone in the group had been spreading rumours about her.

I am yet to understand why anyone should burst a vein over what others have said and not said considering the fact that none of us has the ability to control what others think and say about us.

What was most strange was the bizarre hysterics that this lady exhibited to convey her point. Her vocabulary would have had any censor board working over time. 

The whole charade had me thinking about the fate of the 50-year-old woman in society. Unlike in the past where most women this age were grandmas or lay leaders in church, today women are having more liberties and can be whatever they want to be.

However, some have allowed themselves to think that this new found freedom allows them to behave like 16-year-olds. But I have something for these women. Forget what the magazines tell you, or what your children and friends may tell you; when you get to 50, certain rules and expectations apply in Africa.

At this age decorum becomes part of society’s expectations. It seems that some of these women imagine that they are exempt from these rules. I’d like to tell them that until things change on this side of the globe, there are rules that bind the mature African woman. 

And she has to adhere to these rules if she expects to be respected. It is a painful but harsh truth but there are now younger, smarter and cuter women than you. You may once have been the hottest and smartest woman around, but that is history.

If you want to be taken seriously and respected by younger women, then you must have something to contribute to their general portfolio. This contribution should be either value adding advice, tips and lessons from the past.

There is a saying that tells us that one is as old as they feel. But in Africa women are ‘as old as society knows or imagines them to be.’ In public, you will be expected to behave your age.  

Don’t get me wrong - it is perfectly acceptable to get your groove on. It is perfectly okay to dress in boa constrictor fabric or to wear scarlet lipstick if that is what rocks your world. It is alright if you decide to take on and drop lovers at the speed of lightning if that is what pleases you.

You are within your democratic rights if you decide to spend all your weekends outdoing the younger women at the disco. But do this in the full knowledge that society will judge you more harshly than it would your younger sisters.

njokikaigai@hotmail.com