A man for each occasion

Multiple sex partners — anyone for it? Good, now that your attention is drawn, what is wrong with having different lovers (save for the risk of contracting Aids and other STDs)?

The jury may be out on this one, but not for long. On a Physics discussion forum recently, participant Tom McCurdy posted the comment: “Is it our society that seems to have the stigma that one person should have one partner only, or is it nature?

“Is it wrong for a guy to have five girlfriends at once if he does not lie to them? Would marrying in this instance (polygamy) be acceptable? Also, not only about one guy and multiple girls but also one girl and multiple guys?”

It was the climax of a hot debate that was doing the rounds. There were mixed reactions from the participants, but many seemed comfortable with the idea of plural pairing.

Closer to home, right by our doorsteps, this lifestyle is fast gaining root. Many are the women and men who are having multiple sexual partners. Clearly, the dating scene is changing significantly.

A generation ago, women were interested mainly in long-term romantic relationships, while men were not averse to short-term affairs with multiple partners.

Now women seem to have perfected the cheating game. Many are boasting of having at least three boyfriends. It’s great fun, they say. From sexual to economic needs, the young women interviewed said their cups are brimming over. But that sex is a the greatest motivator. Only in a few cases was financial need the main consideration.

The need for good, abundant sex — which they say is lacking in most formal relationships — is paramount.

Some of these women are certainly adventurous, even promiscuous, but who is to judge them? Most complained of the monotony of one partner, saying that having multiple lovers is “cool” and that one man can never be enough.

There is hope, however, for the righteous in society — a few said they firmly believed in one-man, one-woman set-ups.

I met several women, some longtime friends, others acquaintances and a few virtual strangers. In a matter of minutes, we were deep in discussion on love triangles.

Indeed, the Kenyan romance scene has changed a lot and so have the women. The best confirmation of this fact is the bee-line that men make for these young and restless women.

So why are women perfecting this art of cheating, an art that is mainly the preserve of men? Many have in their diaries the married man, the senior bachelor and the sex stud (maybe even two). Interestingly, these men are grouped into various categories.

There are those that meet the women’s emotional needs, even if but with sweet nothings only. Those for social outings — dinner dates, movies, discos and plays; those that cater for shopping and other financial needs, besides driving them home, and those that pay the house rent.

Isabel, 25, is a financial analyst and a girl about town. She swears by the Moral Code that she doesn’t have multiple sexual partners, although almost all her girlfriends do.

What a wealth of information she is, especially on the lifestyles of young carefree women — those with no qualms about cheating. Isabel is successful, well educated and a shining example to other young women. Or is she?

I caught up with her a week ago. She spoke at ease about her bevy of girlfriends who have more than three sexual partners. I wasn’t so sure whether she was an exception to such romances, but she categorically said No.

“I’m proud and selfish. I cannot have more than one partner. It requires work and time. And you have to be consistent with your lies,” she says.