Are you dating your way into debt?

What you need to know:

  • Lillian Kithia on how to know whether your woman is high-maintenance or not

Human beings are social animals and relationships and dating are known to bring us untold joy. However, for most men – and women, this is not always the case.

While some relationships may bring with them untold heartache, others have a way of ensuring that they leave your bank account cleaned-out when all is over. And worse is when such relationships last forever because that assures you a lifetime of salary advances and utility loans.

But is it possible for you to tell when your relationships are financially unhealthy for you? The answer is yes. Here are some tell-tale signs that you could be dating your way into debt!

You build the foundation of your relationships on money: You’re dating your way into debt if you believe that you have to splurge and overspend on your first date to impress your date.

You probably hire a better car or spend more on dinner that you would normally spend on a whole week’s budget, just to impress.

A first date is an important foundation of any relationship and maintaining appearances after an overly expensive first date might be difficult or impossible.  Work on your self-esteem issues and confidently lead your conversations to interesting topics to ensure that they do not always drift to how much you earn.

You think that showering her with gifts will get her to fall in love with you: You’re dating your way into debt if you feel the need to buy her affection.

Gifts reassure your girl that you’ve been thinking about her, but getting too generous too soon will only get her to like you for all the wrong reasons. If you have a tendency to buy your dates cell-phones, iPods and laptops within one month of the relationship, you’re definitely working your way into a financial crisis.

She is low and you have to break the bank to raise her spirits: Retail therapy works well for women; it only takes a new pair of shoes and a lovely blouse to get our spirits up.

However, if the damage from her feel-good shopping sprees are being footed by you then you’re definitely dating your way into broke-ville.

Try some inexpensive ways to cheer your girl up – something that does not always involve you swiping your credit card - like a funny movie or a reassuring talk about how you will always have her back.

If this doesn’t work and she has to shop her blue days away, you’re definitely dealing with a shopaholic who doesn’t care about your bank balance -   get her some counselling - which you will find is cheaper than shopping - or run as fast as you can.

She has very expensive taste; and you’re funding it: Who doesn’t like foreign cuisine? Maybe not always the taste of it, but just the way it is served, and the beautiful restaurants in which it is served.

However, most people know to tame their culinary curiosities until their wallets can afford it. Not for your girl though, she loves Chinese, Thai, Ethiopian and Indian and has you spending the equivalent of her rent cash on dinner outings. You’re going to need a relationship finance loan to sustain this relationship.

She always has a money emergency and only you can bail her out: One month she has to go for a family meeting in the village, but since it was so sudden, she doesn’t have the money for it. The next month her cheque has delayed in clearing and her rent is overdue.

Then later on, her power bill has come at the wrong time and she risks having it disconnected…. The list of fairly legitimate excuses is endless because she has figured out perfect ways to milk the notes out of you. I hope you have yourself a cash-cow because your job alone will not sustain this one.

Her best- friend’s boyfriend bought her this and that: If you feel like you have to keep up with all her friends and their boyfriends, you’re definitely gearing yourself for a lifetime of trying to make the ends meet.

You probably have a huge ego and your girl knows it; so she uses the “my best friend’s boyfriend did…” line to get you to buy her stuff. You may love being the best, but at this rate, the only thing you’ll be the best at is borrowing from Peter to pay Paul.