Playing with fire? Expect a burn

A certain gentleman who writes in this very magazine made some outrageous accusations a few weeks ago.

He claimed that single motherhood is now a choice that women are making. He cited many reasons, skewed to illustrate his point, but failed to point out the one glaring truth:

For every single mother, there exists an absent father who has elected to ignore or avoid his duty to his spawn.

Part of the social decay that we are experiencing is housed in the cavalier attitude many men have towards the babies that they have helped to create.

In some quarters, men like to regale friends and hangers-on with tales of how many babies they have sired across counties.

One of the arguments that men have latched onto is that contraception is 100 per cent the woman’s issue.

It is bizarre how men who spend lots of money insuring their precious electronics and jalopies casually jump into situations that have the potential to make them responsible for a human being for eternity.

Any man who does not tether, leash or sheath his baby-making equipment should not feign shock and disbelief if he is informed that he has procreated.

In the same way that men do not trust us when we tell them that they are the best we have ever had, they should not trust us when we tell them we have our ovaries in check.

If they choose to trust us then they should not cry foul when a baby comes along.

I have heard men say that sex drive and responsibility are two very different things and should not be said in the same breath.

Well, we can tell you that most men are high on sex drive and low on responsibility.

Most men will come running at the speed of light when promised some midnight booty action, expecting the woman, who is providing both the venue and pleasure, to give them food, drink and in some cases the latex tools of trade.

Run from the hills

Is it any wonder that when the baby comes, the men want the women to once again handle this perk of pleasure?

Men need to understand that sex drive often translates into some form of responsibility.

If you have been consistently bedding a woman (where consistency means over three months of unprotected sex), you had better be preparing yourself for some responsibility.

If you have been sighted in public consistently with the same woman and have introduced her as a girlfriend to friends and family, then do not run for the hills when the same girl informs you that she is with child.

Men need to realise the women do not just have sex for pleasure for long periods of time. We do so because at some point we want to settle down and raise a family (read have babies).

Let us face the obvious: Most men do not respond well to unexpected pregnancies.

Even Joseph in the Bible had to get divine intervention to bring him back from the hills he had scuttled to upon hearing the ‘baby news’ from Mary.

What matters at the end of the day is whether a man has the integrity and character to realise that once he has sown his seed (willingly or unwillingly), he must take some form of responsibility.

What we have an issue with is how men like to bury their heads in the sand with all manner of flimsy excuses.

If the man in question doubts the child’s paternity, all he has to do is conduct a DNA test and then take or fail to take blam

Play and pay

If he thinks he is not ready to be a father then he can perhaps remotely support the pregnancy or child by paying for stuff as he awaits the day when he will be ready to be a father.

If he suspects that he was trapped into being a father, he should know that as long as he was not duped or drugged into having unprotected pleasure then he might as well suck it up and deal with the consequences.

For as long as men are willing to play but not pay for making babies, then we will always have some form of moral decay in our midst.

Men need to learn that taking some measure of care and responsibility for a human being who bears 23 of your chromosomes has nothing to do with the woman.

It has everything to do with your character and sense of right and wrong. Any man who feels that they are lacking in character and spine should consider sheathing or neutering themselves.

Failure to do so means that you should be held accountable for the seeds you sow. That is what is fair and fitting.

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