Conjugal rights used to ‘punish’ spouses

• New form of abuse replaces physical violence as couples refuse to share a bed

You may no longer be hearing screams and wails as your neighbour batters his wife. But the couple next door may be experiencing the worst form of gender-based violence.

This is because perpetrators of domestic violence have adopted a new way to punish their victims — denying them sex.

It is now official; husbands and wives are increasingly refusing to share a bed with their spouses in the new form of gender-based violence.

Most notorious

In fact, denial of sex and other forms of psychological abuse, have overtaken physical violence as crime number one in households, according to a new report released by the Federation of Kenya Women Lawyers (Fida-K), on Friday.

According to this year’s study of Gender-based Domestic Violence in Kenya that covered the most notorious provinces — Coast, Nairobi, Nyanza and Western — one in every two people experiencing Intimate Partner Violence is denied conjugal rights.

This means gender-based violence is no longer a male affair. For lack of physical strength, women are fighting back domestic violence in the bedroom.

But men, who will rarely deny their partners sex, result to the fist, making physical violence the second most common form of violence.

Unfaithfulness, or suspicion of it, also tops the list of the worst crimes against a spouse with four out of ten victims having been accused of the vice before the actual abuse.

Other circumstances leading to domestic violence are money or alcohol related.

The report, done by University of Nairobi researchers, Prof Patricia Kameri- Mbote and Mr Kamau Mubuu on behalf of Fida, shows that home-based violence is changing in tandem with modernisation.

Coast province leads in the number of abuse cases, followed by Western, Nairobi and Nyanza in that order. They scored 33, 29, 22 and 16 per cent.

At 80 per cent, male partners lead as perpetrators, with half the cases taking place under the influence of alcohol.

Police are least trusted to handle domestic violence cases with only 9 per cent of the respondents saying they would actually report the case in a police station while 88 per cent said they would report abuses to village elders or the local chief.

Gender experts say this local administration route is cheaper, takes the least time possible and the perpetrators are likely to face some action.

In Nyanza and Western provinces, the cases were rampant but were not reported due to cultural beliefs. One in every four cases, especially physical attacks, arose from beliefs that a man can only assert authority in his home by subduing his wife through beating her.

According to Ms Maryfrances Lukera, a Fida programmes officer, cases where working class women are being battered are on the rise.

“Wife beating is no longer a rural affair. Husbands are beating their earning wives in urban areas as an assertion of their power over them,” says Ms Lukera.

However, women who depend on their men for a living face a greater risk of assault.

Physical violence, manifested in form of battering, slaps and kicking, is second to denial of conjugal rights with 27 per cent of the cases. Infidelity and rape follow with 14 and 10 per cent.

With one in two women facing household molestation, the report notes that 30 per cent of battered women experience their men’s wrath on a regular basis, while 22 per cent said they know no peace.

“This category considers themselves lucky if a few days pass without being abused,” says Ms Lukera who participated in the research.

Coincidentally, as the report was being launched, a section of the press reported that a former Kisumu town east MP had beaten his wife almost to death after coming home drunk.

The battered woman is a niece to Prime Minister Raila Odinga.

Fida fraternity led by chairperson Violet Awori and executive director, Mrs Patricia Nyaundi loudly condemned the incident and vowed to direct all their legal missiles to the case until justice was done.

“Domestic violence stinks to the high heavens. We know of high profile politicians who batter their wives. For this case (Raila’s niece), we are pursuing it all the way,” she told Saturday Nation on Friday.

The findings also come hot on heels of the launch of the We Can Kenya Alliance, another campaign working towards violence-free homes. The campaigns are in preparation of the forthcoming 16 days of anti-violence against women.

But as stakeholders sustain war on violence against women, lack of appropriate laws is cited a major hindrance to make homes safer havens. Currently, there is no specific law that deals with holistic scope of domestic violence.

The Penal Code only considers offences related to this violence such as murder, attempted murder, assault, grievous harm among others, while the Family Protection Bill which seeks to solely protect domestic violence in both its physical and emotional forms is yet to be enacted.

Gender activists are also seeking to amend the sexual offices Act to include a clause that prohibits marital rape.

There is also a campaign to enact the Marriage Bill which would prohibit men from asking for dowry back when a marriage fails, thus preventing legally married women from leaving for lack of refund.