Rude shock for Kenyan men facing strong US family law

• Kenyan women discover that the US takes violation of their rights very seriously, a situation that they embrace

This is the story of Kibet, a Kenyan living in Massachusetts in the United States, but also the story of many a male compatriot.

Married for 11 years, he accuses wife, Judy, of throwing him out of their matrimonial home after she started dating someone else.

Kibet says it all began as a row over the remittance of money to his family back home, which his wife was opposed to.

She accused him of being more supportive of his family back home than his wife and their two children, an accusation which Kibet denies.

One day during an argument, she hit him and Kibet grabbed her hands to protect himself. His wife started screaming and when he released her, she called the police. When the police arrived at their home, his wife insisted that she feared for her life as he had tried to kill her, though Kibet maintained he was merely trying to protect himself.

The police advised Kibet to move from the home for a while until they sorted themselves out. He then moved in with his brother.

Judy then filed for divorce in April last year, claiming that she could not continue living in an “abusive marriage.” Kibet denied the abuse accusation and maintained that at no time had he assaulted her and that the incident in question was a case of self-defence.

Kibet was then slapped with child support for his two children as well as alimony, which is supposed to restore his former wife to the financial position she enjoyed during their marriage.

That was not all: His wife was also awarded their matrimonial home.

Kenyan families that immigrate to the United States are usually quickly confronted with the task of reconciling their Kenyan traditions and the US culture.

Kenyan women quickly discover that the US takes violation of women’s rights very seriously, a situation that they quickly embrace. The woman also realises that she has an upper hand in matters involving custody of children after divorce, and rarely is a child taken away from its mother.

According to lawfirms.com, 70 per cent of custody cases in US are awarded to women, 10 per cent are awarded to men and 20 per cent are shared custodies.

Immigrant children also become increasingly aware of their freedoms as they integrate into the American school system.

As they interact with other children and teachers, they learn that they are protected from their parents against what is considered child abuse.

Although article 53 of the Kenyan Constitution provides for protection against child abuse, enforcement of the same is inadequate, especially in rural areas.

Cultural norms may be seen as culprits as it may be difficult for a child to report abuse cases by their parents.

Immigrant parents in the US find out that they can no longer punish their children by slapping or even whipping as they used to do in Kenya.

These forms of punishment can easily be lumped into a form of child abuse. Children are known to report the cases to their school teachers as well as to the local police.