Survey reveals Kenyan marriages in crisis amid pressures of modern life

Given a second chance, three in every 10 people would not marry their current spouse again, a nationwide survey on the status of the institution of marriage in Kenya has revealed.

The survey, done by Infotrak for the Saturday Nation reveals that only 40 per cent of Kenyans are happily married, the rest are either unhappy or not sure how to describe their unions.

Some 29 per cent of married Kenyans admit their marriages are headed for the rocks, while 31 per cent say they are not certain whether they are in a happy or unhappy union.

More than a half of the respondents reported serious conflicts in their marriages at least once a month.

Love — that traditional bond that leads couples to the altar, has taken a backseat in many Kenyan marriages, its place usurped by money and children.

Only four in 10 married people said they were in it for love.

“Love comes last in marriage,” said a respondent in his 30s.

Six out of every 10 married Kenyans say the only bond keeping their marriage together are the children, while 45 per cent say they are hanging on because of the money and property.

And, in quite an interesting twist in marriage and separation trends, money and overly nosy in-laws have overtaken infidelity as the leading cause of broken marriages.

Extended family

Half of all married people who took part in the survey said money was the main cause of marital conflict, followed by interference from members of the extended family at 39 per cent.

And where the conflict ended in divorce and separation, 64 per cent of the respondents said they walked out because of money problems, compared to 56 per cent who said they walked out because of infidelity.

Both sides blame each other for the sorry state of their unions.

The majority of men, who are already divorced or separated, say nagging spouses drove them out of their marriages while 76 per cent say they walked out because their wives had become argumentative and disrespectful.

A majority of their female counterparts on the other hand say they walked out of their marriages because the men did not demonstrate enough commitment to the relationship.

Besides infidelity and money, the fight for equality is emerging as the “modern” cause of marriage breakdowns in Kenya, more so among women.

Half of the divorced or separated women say they opted out of their marriages because their spouses were not treating them as “equal” partners in the union.

Interviews with married couples revealed the shocking decadence of the marriage institution in Kenya, an institution that family lawyers say ought to form the foundation of the state.