Mkulima Moments: Chaos as co-op members fight for their turn to ‘eat’

A few days ago, a prospective development partner from Australia interested in partnering with Mashambani Co-operative Society came calling.

She had been referred to us by Adenya, my city friend, whom they met in Brisbane, Australia, where she runs a dairy farm that processes cream and yoghurt.

So, when she accompanied delegates into the country for a conference on dairy farming and value addition for smallholder farmers, she told Adenya she could spare some time to visit our co-operative society. We quickly accepted to host her and her two colleagues.

In preparation, I started by quickly organising a board meeting, with the main agenda being planning for the high-level visitors. To have an all-inclusive and consultative meeting, I also invited other people, including my nemesis, Mzee Jeremiah and the lovely Tesh.

Involving Mzee Jeremiah was strategic. He is good for publicity because he is overly talkative. I knew he would personally spread the news that “they have been able to bring the Wazungu to Mashambani village”.

I also considered Tesh due to her city upbringing. Her impeccable spoken English would come in handy and she would offer some basic etiquette on how to handle such visitors.

She would also be able to hear them out as most of the board members, including myself, have a problem understanding the English that Wazungus talk.

After delivering tea and snacks, Wakageorge also became part of the meeting.

There were a lot of contentious issues. Everyone wanted to be a speaker at the event.

CHAOTIC MEETING

“I must be included in the programme to talk about my new innovations on online farm markets. Ndio hawa wazungu wajue hata sisi sio malenge,” Kiambati said.

“Being an elder in Mashambani, I should welcome the visitors,” Mzee Jeremiah insisted.

“What about food? They can eat at Check Point Hotel,” Wakageorge said.

“Wakageorge, it’s that shack of a building you are considering a hotel?” shouted Tesh.

“How can you describe my hotel as a shack?” Wakageorge shouted back. “Hapa ni Mashinani. We can’t import hotels from the city.”

“Please members, let us not be personal on this,” I said as I tried to cool down the tempers.

“We need to have outside catering from Nairobi,” Tesh said. “We also need to rebrand Mashambani Co-operative by printing polo t-shirts and caps,” she continued, noting she knows who can offer best prices.

“But Tesh, we can’t have all these at the expense of farmers’ cash. We also don’t have time,” I intervened.

“That’s why I am proposing they visit my farm for indigenous vegetables,” Mzee Jeremiah added.

“Remember the activity is being hosted by Mashambani Co-operative so we need to have minimal costs,” I said.

“Mkulima, this is the best opportunity you have to showcase Mashambani Co-operative to international guests,” Tesh suggested.

THE CHIEF GUESTS

“You will need four banners erected on the road and also talk to the local principal to have some pupils entertain the guests,” Tesh continued to dominate the meeting.

“I have very good people who are professional events specialists,” she added.

The meeting that was supposed to discuss a simple programme was converted into a name calling match.

As the meeting went on, the local MP and the MCA sent me text messages. They wanted to be furnished on the progress of the event, noting they should be chief guests.

By the time the meeting was over, we had knocked off branding, printing of t-shirts and lunch at Check Point to the chagrin of Wakageorge and Tesh.

I called off the meeting not because we had agreed on our agenda but to stop those who were fronting individual interests, believing it was their turn to eat.

While Tesh’s ideas were the best, I had to disappoint her to save costs and still remind everyone that I was in-charge.

It is only three days to the visit, and I have to make most of the decisions myself.

I am jittery about what will happen during the meeting.