Life after leaving a children’s home
What you need to know:
- South African Reggae icon Lucky Dube’s sonorous song comes to mind when you listen to Bernard Oduor narration of his predicament.
- Like the child in Lucky Dube’s song, when one leaves a child care institution they are thrust into a dilemma.
- They must now begin the arduous and sometimes never-ending journey of finding a sense of belonging.
You left for the city many years ago
Promised to come back
And take care of us
Many years have gone by now
Still no sign of you Daddy
Mother died of a heart attack
Many years ago when she heard
That you were married again
Now, I'm the only one left
In the family….”
South African Reggae icon Lucky Dube’s sonorous song comes to mind when you listen to Bernard Oduor's narration of his predicament.
It is a predicament far too common with majority of the children raised in Child Care Institutions (CCIs).
At the end of their life in the institutions they begin tracing their roots in search of a relative who could offer them the one thing they have longed for and yet missed – filial love.
Like the child in Lucky Dube’s song, when one leaves a child care institution they are thrust into a dilemma.
This is especially so when they come of age and begin piecing together the narrative of how they ended up in a children’s home.
The age of innocence is lost.
They must now begin the arduous and sometimes never-ending journey of finding a sense of belonging.
WHO AM I?
“Who am I and why am I here?”
This is a question most of the humanity find themselves saddled with at one time or another but which is more pronounced with beneficiaries of child care institutions.
But Bernard’s predicament was more pronounced than that of the child in Lucky Dube’s hit song.
While the child in the song is looking for a father who abandoned him, Bernard had the double tragedy of being abandoned and losing both her mother and her father in quick succession.
Born in the year 1987, Bernard was already living in the streets before the death of his parents.
His father died in 2004 with his mother following a year later. His four sisters were already married.
The last born among five siblings, Bernard started living with his uncle in Nairobi who was a businessman dealing in glassware.
But there was a problem, his uncle had a big family comprised of three wives and many children.
“My uncle had three wives and each wife was taking care of her own children. There was a conflict on who should live with me. That is why I started living in the streets,” says Bernard.
KOROGOCHO SLUMS
He sought refuge in the streets of Korogocho slums - a brewing pot for both petty offenders and hardcore criminals.
Here survival was for the fittest as they lived by the law of the jungle.
He ended up in Kayole Children’s Home before later being transferred to Bahati Rehabilitation Centre where he joined Morison Primary School.
He was lucky to get a sponsor after class 8.
An American lady sponsored him and he was able to pursue his high school education at Njoro High School in Nakuru County.
Although the rehabilitation centre had sheltered him from the harsh reality of life in his childhood years, life in the institutions was not a bed of roses.
“At Kayole, we were assured of food, three meals a day, but there were no mattresses, only blankets. You just had to find a place to spend the night within the building,” narrates Bernard.
BACK TO THE STREETS
At Bahati Rehabilitation Centre, the situation was different. There was bedding but food was scarce with only two meals a day.
“Some children escaped and went back to the streets because of the situation. I remember two boys were killed after they were caught stealing in order to get money for food,” says Bernard.
But if the situation at the rehabilitation centre was difficult, life outside the only place where Bernard called ‘home’ was even more challenging.
“I went back to Bahati Rehabilitation Centre after I finished my Form Four exams in 2008 because I had nowhere else to go,” says a shy-looking Bernard.
Now aged 26, he still has an evasive glance about him, like a man whom life has not been so kind to, he seems to be always on the look-out for possible trouble.
VOLUNTEER WORK
“When I went back to Bahati after completing Form Four, they told me that I had to join another programme.
This time not as someone who was being supported but as a way of giving back to society.
They transferred me to Thunguma Children’s Home in 2009 to start work as a volunteer,” says Bernard.
He has now been employed by Thunguma Children and Youth Empowerment Centre where he is the coordinator of Youth Programmes.
He has since acquired a Diploma in Information Technology from the Dedan Kimathi University.
But Bernard’s continued stay and dependence on the child care institution in which he grew up poses a problem which afflicts care leavers; like a baby forever attached to its mother’s umbilical cord, the care leavers are unprepared to venture into the unknown world after they come of age.
They crave the familiar surroundings where everything was structured and decisions are made for them.
Some CCIs, however, have elaborate programmes which ensure that care leavers are re-integrated into society. These programmes begin as soon as one enters the child care institution.
At Thunguma Children and Youth Empowerment Centre in Nyeri, there is an exit programme which ensures that those who graduate from the institution do not end up back in the streets.
The programme known as Zawadi Youth Enterprise empowers the youth to start their own businesses in order to support themselves.
“When youth finish their programme, you cannot just let them go. They will go back to the streets,” says Bernard.
