When to slam the brakes on your racy sexual drive

Sex addiction belongs to the category of behaviours classified as obsessive compulsive disorders. If we use the sugar analogy, it simply means that if you can’t keep your hands of the sugar jar, and you repeatedly and erratically dip in, then you are addicted to sugar.

But, how much is too much for one to be said to be a sex addict?

Dr Tammary Esho, a sexual medicine expert and lecturer at Technical University of Kenya, says sex addiction, or hypersexuality, is a state characterised by compulsive engagement in sexual activity.

This is not yet a formally diagnosable condition in the Diagnostic Statistical Manual-5 (DSM-5), a criteria used by psychotherapists to isolate psychosocial disorders. Rather, it is an existing condition with potentially adverse consequences in many facets of a man’s life.

As is the case with hypersexuality, Dr Esho says the treatment for hypo-sexuality will involve a focus on the underlying factors such as psychological or biological causes.

“Sex addiction in men may manifest in a variety of ways, including excessive self-stimulation with pornography, engagement in prostitution, masturbation or fantasy, sadistic or masochistic behaviour, exhibitionism and voyeurism,” explains Dr Esho.

SIGNS OF ADDICTION VARY

However, the signs and effects of addiction vary and involve psychological, relational and physical difficulties. Triggers of sexual addiction, which may also double up as symptoms, may include feelings of isolation, loneliness, guilt, fear, anxiety, and depression — conditions for which sex offers relief for some.

Consequences also vary. In addition to the symptoms highlighted above, Dr Esho says that sex addicts may feel immobilised, irritable, uncontrollably angry and emotional.

Sexual addiction may also negatively impact one’s social life, including inability to develop and sustain normal interpersonal relations, particularly with the opposite sex, and marital difficulties. Physical consequences of sexual addiction include exhaustion and sexually transmitted diseases.

WHAT CAUSES SEX ADDICTION?

Dr Esho says causes may include biological factors such as genetic predisposition to emotional impulsivity or sensation-seeking behaviour, and high levels of sex-related hormones like testosterone in men or estrogen in women, which in turn can increase libido. “Sexual abuse, exposure to sexual content and consorting with people who engage in frequent sexual activity may lead to hypersexual behaviour,” she says. “Rejection and isolation may also increase one’s dependence on sex as a means of psychological relief.”

IS THERE TREATMENT?

Sexual addiction can be treated in a variety of ways, including psychosexual therapy and medication. Psychiatrists, psycho-therapists and counsellors who are trained to handle such cases can be consulted. They will assist an individual to identify the factors that underpin addictive behaviour; for instance, teaching one to cope with thoughts, feelings and behaviours in a healthy way. This may be achieved through individual or couple therapy, and even group therapy in some cases. In-patient sex therapy may also be employed through rehabilitation centres. There is no specific drug approved for treatment, but there are medications that could be used to address the triggers, symptoms and effects, such as anti-depressants targeting anxiety and depression. Anti-androgenic drugs could be used to reduce the levels of male hormones in the body in cases of high testosterone levels, thereby predisposing one to hypersexual behaviour.

HOW LITTLE IS TOO LITTLE?

On the flip side, low sexual desire, or hypo-sexuality, is a condition characterised either by a lack of or low desire for sexual activity. It is a condition that is difficult to detect in the absence of relational unions such as in marriage or other forms of coupling. In marriage, however, hypo-sexuality is often detectable when frequency of sexual intercourse is very low (in comparison to what an individual considers to be normal) or altogether absent. A man suffering from low sexual desire will not initiate or respond to their partner’s desire for sexual advances. Frequency is, however, not a reliable criteria as sexual encounters vary between couples and individuals.

WHAT CAUSES LOW DRIVE?

Some causes may be physical, psychological or social-relational. Sexual desire may also decline with aging, whereby men may begin noticing changes in their desire for sexual frequency after 40. Physiological conditions such as low levels of testosterone or high levels of the hormone prolactin, erectile dysfunction and forms of chronic illness may also diminish interest in sex. Health challenges such as hypertension, diabetes, cancer, and psychiatric conditions such as stress, depression, low self-confidence, and side effects of medication have been cited to also account for reduced sexual desire. Too much or too little physical exercise, alcohol and drug abuse are also known causes of hypo-sexuality in men, as are relationship difficulties between partners. 

CURING IT

As is the case with hypersexuality, Dr Esho says the treatment for hypo-sexuality will involve a focus on the underlying factors such as psychological or biological causes.

“If the causes are bio-physical, the clinical therapist may try to deal with it. If psychological, then psycho-sexual therapy is recommended, focusing more on how to deal with underlying factors such as stress, personal or societal inhibitions, and relational challenges. Treatment may also include medication. 

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THE BAD SIGNS

There are some common penile disorders that could result in sexual dysfunctions in men. These include erectile dysfunction, whereby a man experiences inability to get and maintain an erection and sustain it through the episode of sexual intercourse. Priapism, another common condition, entails a persistent and often painful erection that lasts more than four hours but is not associated with sexual activity and is not relieved by an orgasm. Additionally, mostly affecting uncircumcised men, is balanitis, an inflammation of the tip of the manhood or foreskin. “The good news is that most of these conditions are treatable by psychosexual therapy, medication or surgery,” states Dr Esho.