You’re not your family’s saviour

Many of us are familiar with the story of the Biblical Joseph, who was sold into slavery in Egypt. Some folks have wrongly misinterpreted his experience. For instance, there are some who have this erroneous doctrine that God raises only one family member – mostly a son – and it is upon him to rescue the family from poverty.

I know of brothers who have been blackmailed – more like “Bible-mailed” – using this selfish interpretation. They have been made to feel guilty if they don’t share their largesse.

“Look, it’s in the Bible; you’re the Joseph of this family,” they’re harangued. “You must do as Scripture says. Or else…”

Well? I beg to differ.

Suffering

Listen, bro. They have no right to reign with you if they don't suffer with you. We all have our disparate life journeys. Some of us will go through extremely hard times. Others will have it easier. But we have been equipped to handle the pain that comes with our calling and destiny.

It’s in the Bible, bro. While Joseph co-ruled with Pharaoh in the palace, his brothers went straight to Goshen to take care of their livestock-keeping business. They knew their place. And they never complained about it.

Also read: Just a Man: The formula for a revival

Grinding

If they don’t “search” with you, they don’t have a right to share the spoils with you. Back in the day, “search” was our slang for grinding. It meant leaving home and going to hustle.

In the ‘hood’, there were lazy types. If we went to search and a hommie remained behind, the best he could do was spectate while we had one helluva time. That was the unwritten rule. Hommie, if you don’t risk it with us in the trenches, you’re not riding with us on Easy Street.

The pit experience

All men undergo the pit experience. It’s when life or folks hurl a man inside a hole because they’re envious or afraid of the calling on his life. The pit experience puts many men in depression.

In most cases, a good number of men are in the pit alone. They endure the darkness and walls closing alone. Until God sends a saviour. Sometimes this saviour is unlikely. It may seem like the saviour is making matters worse. However, in the grand scheme of things, the man in the pit is inching closer to his destiny.

What am I trying to say? If they’re not in the pit with you, they have no right to demand a share on the pedestal.

Incarceration

In Betrayal in the City, Francis Imbuga writes, "The outside of one cell may well be the inside of another.” Which means there are different types of prisons.

Some men are incarcerated by sky-high family expectations. Like the mythical Icarus, it forces them to fly beyond their limits. When they get too close to the sun, their wax – or money or mind – melts and they plunge to their death.

Here’s what’s up, bro. If they ignore you while you’re serving a prison sentence, they’re not entitled to your compensation package.

Also read: Who is taking care of you as you take care of others?

Persecution

Persecution – or abuse – is a thing men know of too well. Men face persecution in marriages. Others go through it from their exes. Some men are persecuted in their jobs. Or from Potiphar’s wife.

But one of the worst forms of abuse men undergo is from kith and kin. We don’t see this as abuse. Why? Because we’ve been conditioned from childhood that men are supposed to uncomplainingly carry whole families, even if their backs are broken in gazillion pieces.

Repeat after me, bro. “If they’re alienated while I’m being persecuted, they cannot demand a share of my glory.”

Kindly repeat it again for the brothers in the back.

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