Here’s how to deal with office gossip
What you need to know:
- Composure: Don’t attack. Ask for feedback instead...
The office is an interesting working environment. There is a community of colleagues with whom you can brainstorm ideas, celebrate milestones and grow one another.
However, there are some not-so-good days. Have you gone to work and one of your colleagues approached you and said that someone was disparaging your name?
Office gossip comes in all forms. It can be a source of information, and an emotional release for frustration and anger. Or, it can be an indirect way of surfacing or engaging in interpersonal conflicts.
The latter can incite a lot of workplace drama. Imagine someone mentioning the name of the colleague who said bad things about you, then ending it with, “don’t mention that you heard it from me.”
The way you handle this moment — the instant you’re issued an invitation to participate in such rumours is crucial. Here are three things to do when someone else is gossiping about you.
The ‘No, thank you’ approach
We all know how office gossip starts and in one way or another, you have found yourself embroiled in one. The best way to ensure that you are not a gossiping partner or the person that colleagues call to engage in gossip is to set a boundary.
Let your work mates know that you don’t entertain gossip and stop the other partner. Alternatively, you can let them know that you will act on whatever information they will share. For instance, if person A comes to you and tells you what Person B said about you, make it clear that you will act on the information given. With this, they can choose to tell you or not.
Of course, the risk in this approach is that people will think twice before sharing gossip with you. You may lose access to some information. But if your example positively influences others, you may gain a healthier workplace.
Address the right issue first
In most cases, your first instinct will be to approach the person who said something behind your back. You are angry at what they said about you and to whom. Pause and reflect. If it’s about the quality of your work, why did they say that? Are there things that you need to work on?
When you approach them, don’t attack. Ask for feedback. If there is merit to the person’s concerns, you get the benefit of the feedback. Second, you prevent this from escalating into future personal conflict.
And third, you demonstrate both openness to feedback and a willingness to hold others accountable in a way that might encourage them to make a better choice the next time they have concerns.
Improve communication channel
The office is a place for professionals, therefore, you should encourage your colleagues to refrain from non-professional discussions. If someone has a problem with your work or behaviour while at work, the environment should be conducive enough for them to approach you about it.
In some cases, the gossip might continue even after you’ve asked them to stop. If your manager can’t stop the gossip or is participating in the conversation, go to your HR department and file a complaint.
