I think I have a crush on my classmate

Dear Kitoto,

I am 20, and there is this guy in my class who keeps staring at me but has never said a word to me.

I have a serious crush on him and would like to be in a relationship with him. However, I am afraid to approach him just in case he gets a wrong impression of me. He is one of the popular young men in college and so are his friends.

I fear that I would not measure up to his standards.

What should I do about it?

There is an African saying that goes, “He who loves you, loves you with your dirt.” When we have a crush on someone, the temptation is to do everything we can to become who we think they want, forgetting that they too have dark spots.

My advice is that you remain true to yourself, do not try to be someone you think that young man would want you to be.

Second, bear in mind that people are not always who they project themselves to be, especially in public. In many cases, we are attracted to a person because of their looks, but after spending time with them, we get a totally different picture, an unflattering picture.

It is true that we are first attracted by one’s physical appearance, and with time, the other attributes reinforce the initial attraction. As for what to do about your crush, do not throw yourself at him, rather, start with a simple hello, and see what happens.

Maybe what he needs is a little encouragement from you.