Points to consider before getting a  partner

Marriage is both painful and wonderful at the same time. There is, therefore, a reason why we need to do a better job in attracting the right kind of person by being the right kind of partner. PHOTO | FILE

What you need to know:

  • It is important to note that when you find the right man, this will not just make you a better person, but will enhance the person you are already becoming.
  • Marriage is both painful and wonderful at the same time. The difficult times during marriage might appear to drive us apart, but it still remains the best place for transforming our understanding of love.

1. Live a life of no regrets:

Learn how to be thankful, interesting, kind, and unselfish. Be focused and model yourself after women you admire by working hard at changing your character flaws that might stand in the way of being the woman to be admired. It is important to note that when you find the right man, this will not just make you a better person, but will enhance the person you are already becoming.

The lie many believe is that, when I find a generous and hard- working person, they will transform me and my relationship. Accept yourself for who you are, but don’t use that as an excuse to let yourself compromise.

2. Know what you are looking for in a man: 

Asking yourself the right questions will keep you on the right path of growth. Insecurities are created when we allow external factors to dictate how we feel about ourselves. Asking yourself why you want to be this relationship is key; is it because you feel you feel time is running out for you, or it is it to help boost your low self-esteem?

Some people make an important decision such as this because of others like friends or parents. Marriage should be part of the life goals you want to achieve. Ask yourself where you want to be in 25 years. What type of person do you want to become?

Is this person you want to marry going to complement or drag you down? How will your current choices influence that outcome? Try to think beyond your current circumstances. What looks good now might  be the very thing that will  cause you the greatest heartache and pain later in life. Your actions now matter.

3. Marriage requires hard work and intelligent thought:

Marriage is both painful and wonderful at the same time. The difficult times during marriage might appear to drive us apart, but it still remains the best place for transforming our understanding of love. There is, therefore, a reason why we need to do a better job in attracting the right kind of person by being the right kind of partner. So it is hard for me, as a person who does not not know both of you well, to say I am qualified to hook you up with this gentlemen. Looks can be quite deceiving.

I, therefore, suggest that you make yourself the right candidate and learn to socialise in the right places. As you associate with your friends, look for simple things like:

                •How much does the person I want to marry brag about themselves?

                •Are you overly concerned about the need to get married?

                •Can this person make sacrifices for you?

                •Do you  have values and qualities that can be admired?

                •Does the person you want to share your life with have the same values as yours?

                •Is the person concerned more about changing you?

                •Are you more concerned about marrying the person than considering what it would take to spend the rest of your lives together?