Effect of addiction won’t just go away

Dear Kitoto,

I’m 22, and I recently completed my college education. I have a problem whose roots date back nine or ten years ago.

When I joined high school, I was introduced to masturbation and I quickly became addicted. Innocently, I thought to myself that it was better than sex because I would not contract STDs and HIV. I lost interest in girls and even ended up breaking with my girlfriend.

I started drinking alcohol and chewing muguka (a leafy stimulant of the khat family). With time, that also became a habit. I would chew muguka and take beer. Then I would go to bed and masturbate. I would wake up and do it again first thing in the morning.

Eight years down the line, it dawned on me how dangerous I was living and I vowed to stop. After a lot of struggle and God’s grace, I am now free from that bondage.

I no longer masturbate, chew muguka or take alcohol. But it appears the habit caused a long-term damage. I get premature ejaculation and my erection is spongy. Sometimes fail to get an erection altogether.

I have tried eating foods like peanut and cassava, but they are not helping.  Since I don’t have funds to visit a specialist, I ask you to kindly advise me on what I may have to do to regain my manhood. I have already lost my girlfriend and she openly admitted she cheated on me because I couldn’t satisfy her needs. Please help.

Calvin

Hi,

I am glad that you have confronted and worked through the issues you faced. Be thankful to God about where you are now.

The next step is to get the help needed to move towards building a healthy relationship that will lead to marriage. Since masturbation has many effects, you may just have to find a way to seek medical advice so that you can develop a healthy way to deal with your sexuality.

Remember that as a teenager, you were introduced to the practice and it became a habit you regularly turned to in certain moments.

Basically, your way to recover is not just to replace the masturbation with sex before marriage. I am a believer in the practice of self-control when it comes to sexuality, and the need to live responsibly.

Therefore, evaluate your actions and see whether you really overcame the habit or just replaced it.

You may come across failed sexual intimacy in marriage because of a genuine reason. What would happen then? Would you remain true to your decision to never masturbate again, or would you run into another relationship?

In summary, try and revisit the principles that govern your sexuality and make a personal commitment to be disciplined sexually. Finally, seek medical help from a qualified medical practitioner on your perceived side effects.