He doesn’t care about me and our kids

Dear Kitoto,

After five years of marriage, my husband has taken little care of me and our two children.

To him, it about his friends, job and family. I have been very lonely so I offered to get a separation from him until he decides what he wants, but he begged me to stay.

I am not part of the furniture. How can he say he loves me when does all these things that annoy me?

Anne

Hi,
Sorry for what you are facing in your relationship. It is commendable how you have managed for five years.

As much as some men find it a struggle to show romance to their wives, love is not complete until it is accompanied by loving actions.

Depending on a man’s background, exposure or associations, he can pick up habits that can negatively affect his marriage.

I suggest that you evaluate your home environment: Does is provide the kind of atmosphere that is welcoming for him to come back to.

What do the two of you spend time doing when he gets home? Notably, for some men staying at home is something of a chore.

Somehow they come alive when they are with other people. Maybe you could ask whether you and the children can accompany him when he visits his folks.

If he takes good care of you in all other areas and this is the only issue you are having trouble with, I would encourage you not to panic.

With help, such men can learn, if well exposed. I would suggest that you seek out a good marriage course that both of you can attend.

This will greatly improve the way you relate with, and treat, each other.