I fear he might go back to his ex
He told me that some people were advising him to look for another woman to have a child with, although he didn’t tell me who these people were. My worry is, what if he goes back to his ex? PHOTO | FILE
What you need to know:
- Two years down the line, he told me that his ex had his baby – a boy. Last year we had an argument and he told me to my face that I was bragging about being with him and yet I didn’t have his child. I was deeply hurt.
- Then, in early December, he told me that he wanted to bring his child back into his life, so we would have to live with the boy, who is now eight years old. I didn’t have a problem with that.
Hi,
I am 29 years old while my husband is 33. We have been in this relationship for almost four years. When we met, he did not raise any issues about his ex, although he told me he had one.
Two years down the line, he told me that his ex had his baby – a boy. Last year we had an argument and he told me to my face that I was bragging about being with him and yet I didn’t have his child. I was deeply hurt.
Then, in early December, he told me that he wanted to bring his child back into his life, so we would have to live with the boy, who is now eight years old. I didn’t have a problem with that.
What surprised me was that the child turned out to be a girl; equally surprising was her mother’s name. At one point he told me that some people were advising him to look for another woman to have a child with, although he didn’t tell me who these people were.
My worry is, what if he goes back to his ex?
What if he feels that I have not given him a child and has developed feelings for them again?
I am holding back because we are not officially married.
Please advise.
Hi,
It is not really clear whether you are married to him or not.
Secondly, it is not clear whether his ex was a wife, or just girlfriend with whom he had a child.
If they were informally married, then I see him doing the same thing to you.
I believe a baby should not be simply a consequence of sexual intimacy but a decision that is carefully thought through.
Having a baby is a responsibility we should be prepared to bear to the end. I am afraid this is not what I see in your man.
In addition, there is no guarantee that every marriage will produce a baby.
What I am not sure about is whether the absence of a baby in your relationship is due to your inability to conceive or a decision you have made to wait.
I would prefer that the two of you redefine your relationship. Are you now his wife?
Why does he want you for a wife? Does he believe that he found what he was looking for in you?
What if you cannot bear him children, would he still love you for who you are? Knowing what you want in a man it very important.
If you get satisfactory answers to these questions, you will know whether his desire is to have a child with you, or whether he is just playing games.
Remember, having a baby is not a simple matter. I believe it should be a mutually agreed upon decision because of the responsibility that comes with it.
I pray that you will watch your steps and do your homework better.
