Tips to help you find a compatible housemate

With the high rents in urban areas, many people, particularly the newly employed, cannot afford to live alone. One way of solving this problem is house sharing.

Mr Dismas Busolo, a Nairobi-based behaviourist and sociologist, says  this form of co-habitation can be a partial answer to the country’s housing problems.

“In many Western countries, sharing a lease with housemates who are not necessarily family members is a mainstream practice that helps people meet the high rents in the world’s most densely populated cities. However, in Kenya, the practice is common only among university students,” Mr Busolo says.

He adds that it is good because it helps promote cultural diversity and curtails tribalism since people from different parts of the country can find themselves living together, giving them a chance to appreciate each other’s culture.

However, such a living arrangement is not all smooth sailing.

For instance, Ms Christine Ndegwa tells of a roommate who stole her stuff. “She was referred to me by a mutual friend and we decided to rent a bedsitter in Kileleshwa,” Christine recalls. “One month into the stay, however, I noticed that money had mysteriously disappeared from my purse on several occasions.

I did not say anything at first since I didn’t want her to think I did not trust her. But I had to draw the line when a special bracelet my boyfriend  sent me disappeared. I broke into my roommate’s suitcase where I not only recovered the bracelet, but also some of my clothes.”

Christine later confronted her roommate, who retorted by accusing her of infringing on her privacy.

ROOMATES FROM HELL

“I threatened to report her to the police but when I learnt that she was an irredeemable kleptomaniac, I decided to move out,” Christine says bitterly. She now lives alone and has sworn never to live with anyone who is not a  family member.

Still in Kileleshwa, Kevin Okello, a medical student at the University of Nairobi, regrets his brush with the law thanks to his Caucasian roommate whom he did not know was a drug dealer.

“I lived with him for a whole year without ever discovering that he sold cocaine for a living. One day the police came to the house at midnight looking for him but he was not in. I was arrested but released the following day after convincing the police that I knew nothing about my roommate’s clandestine activities. He did not show up for two months after the incident so I  moved to a cheaper apartment that I could afford on my own,” Kevin recalls.

But there are also success stories. For instance, Emily Wairimu, 29, shares an apartment in Githurai 44 in Nairobi with 22-year-old Sheila Wangare. Emily, who had been living alone, says it was fine, until she got pregnant last year.

“Around the six month of my pregnancy, I would get easily irritated and often sink into depression. I also badly needed someone to help with the household chores due to my condition. Mostly, though, I just needed someone to talk to  in order to deal with my anxiety and mood problems,” she says.

A marketer with a local electronics company, she  took her search for a roommate online, posting adverts on several Facebook group walls. A few people replied and she finally settled on Sheila. “I knew there was a chance that picking a random stranger to be my roommate might not work out, but I decided to give it a try nevertheless, since nobody is perfect,” she explains.

Six months later, the two seem so close that one could  easily mistake them for sisters. Emily’s baby, Tanisha, is three months old  and they each  take  time to look after of her.

“We have synchronised our work schedules in such a way that one of us is always at home to take care of the baby. We also share the rent; I pay slightly less to compensate for the sacrifices I make for Emily’s baby,” says  Sheila excitedly.

While he agrees that some roommates’ behaviour can be intolerable, Mr Busolo says it is easy to avoid conflicts with a simple set of rules.

To begin with, when looking for a potential housemate, you should have a candid chat with them about their lifestyle and personality. “Use this first chat as an opportunity to vet them to ensure you find only a person with whom you’re compatible,” he says.

Find out whether they have a reliable source of income which will allow them to contribute  their fair share of expenses. Busolo suggests that you can ask for work references or an income statement. This helps you avoid housemates who might delay paying rent, putting you at risk of eviction.

Also, it helps to get a housemate who is roughly in the same income bracket as yours to make budgeting friendlier for both of you.

Sharing the rent will depend on the living arrangements. Whoever gets the master bedroom, for instance, can be asked to pay a larger part of the rent.

BILLS AND RULES

Beware, though, of people who want to move in with you immediately. This is because they might have just been evicted from their previous house, possibly by a disgruntled roommate, or for non-payment of rent.

Busolo says it is advisable to get someone who thinks ahead and tries to sort out their living arrangements a month or two before moving in. He says such people are also likely to be the type who pay their bills on time.

Another important factor to consider in the search for a housemate is whether your work schedules. What time do they normally get home? When do they go to bed? Do they spend the entire day in the house? What do they do on weekends? Similar schedules, Mr Busolo suggests, usually translate to successful housemates.

The last thing any reasonable person wants is a housemate who turns their home into a nightclub. Discuss this issue beforehand and decide on the boundaries that you are both comfortable with. Also, find out if your potential housemate is a heavy drinker or smoker. If they smoke, for example, you could inform them  that they cannot do it in the house as it will affect your health.

“Another factor that bring conflicts between housemates,”  Busolo continues, “is the issue of when one can invite guests, and how long they can stay. You might want to establish rules that prohibit a housemate from having guests for long periods as this adds to the cost of utilities such as water, electricity and cooking gas, not to mention the invasion of privacy. In addition, find out whether your potential housemate has a significant other who might be visiting regularly and discuss this.”

How about a situation where your roommate is of the opposite sex? Joyce Auma, a third-year student at Kenyatta University, is in just such a situation. At the beginning of the current semester, she was lucky to secure an apartment in Ruiru Town. But since she could not afford to cover the rent on her own, she placed an advert on Pataroommate.com, (a local listing website) looking for roommates.

“Two people, Sophie Kawira and Henry Mwatha, responded to my advert. Since the house was big, I decided to accommodate both of them and so far, the arrangement is working pretty well,” she says.

NO STREOTYPES

Henry explains that the three of them have been able to maintain a healthy relationship because they sleep in separate rooms and avoid any romantic relationships.

“For a man, Henry is spectacularly clean. He even challenges us when it comes to keeping the house tidy. He cooks really well too,” say Sophie.

On this type of arrangements Busolo says: “An important issue here is that the housemates should shed off stereotypes associated with a particular gender. If you are a man, don’t automatically expect the woman to have marvellously clean habits. Also, the woman is not in charge of cooking by default while the man is in charge of fixing the plumbing or moving furniture around. Instead, share the household chores equally. as you would with a housemate of the same sex.

But even with the most comprehensive guidelines, Busolo acknowledges, once in a while you will find yourself at loggerheads. The key to minimising such disputes, he says, is to have frank communication. Thrash out issues and  let your housemate know whenever they do something that upsets you.

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FYI

Checklist for a potential housemate
Chat with them to find out:

• Their personality and lifestyle- do they drink orsmoke?
• Whether they have asteady income - theyshould be in the sameincome bracket as you,
• When they want to movein - if they appeartoo eager, be careful?
• Their work schedules -do they work shifts whileyou don’t?
• Entertaining habits; are theythe type to have noisynight parties?
• Do they have liv-inguests and how long willthey stay?
• Whether they have asignificant partner who mightcome to stay, and for how long
  

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Search for housemate made me start website that links people up

After graduating from Karatina University with a degree in computer science, 22-year-old Cleophas Mulongo moved to Nairobi to look for a job.

However, months into the job-hunt, all he had managed to land were unsustainable short-term software programming stints. “I was starting to feel frustrated because not getting a permanent job meant that I had to spread whatever finances I had really thin. Then I realised that if things did not improve soon, I would not be able to cover my rent,” says Cleophas, who was then living in a one-bedroom apartment in Roysambu.

To make the ends meet, he decided to look for a housemate. “My job search was even more aggravating because I didn’t have any friends or relatives in the city. I felt I could do with someone to speak to during my downtime, and a housemate would do just that,” he recalls.

But three months later, his search for a housemate had yielded nothing.  He attributes this to the fact that there were not many people his age living in the same estate. Most of his neighbours were working professionals with families. He tried reaching out to people who might be interested in house-sharing on Facebook several times, but to no avail.

STAFF OF TWO

“My search for a local website that links would-be-housemates drew a blank as I did not come across a single website that dealt with that specific niche. It was then that I decided to use my computer science background and designed an online platform where people looking for housemates could meet,” he explains, adding that that is how his website, www.pataroommate.com, was born in April this year.

A month after he launched it, the website was receiving so much traffic that it crashed.

“I had not anticipated that kind of response. I redesigned the website in such a way that it could handle more traffic and put it back online. Now, three months later, the website is responsible for linking hundreds of housemates mostly in Nairobi, Kisumu,Mombasa and Nakuru,” Cleophas says.

He has since quit looking for a job and has decided to focus on maintaining the business. He has a staff of two who help him keep the website running smoothly and free from scammers.

“For a person to be linked to a potential housemate, they first have to create a profile on the website which details the characteristics of the person they would like to live with. However, to ensure only serious people are allowed to use the website, one cannot put their personal contact information on the profiles. Rather, they have to contact the Web administrators, stating which profiles they are interested in. The Web administrators then ask the searchers certain questions to ascertain that their intentions are genuine before completing the connection,” Cleophas offers,

Even then, he acknowledges that unscrupulous people (thieves, conmen and sex predators) can still find their way into such websites and prey on innocent victims. He advises that before agreeing to live with someone you meet online, you should vet them thoroughly. “Trust your instincts and do not commit if something does not feel right,” he warns.

Cleophas is yet to start charging for his services, saying he is keen on providing his clients with an ad-free environment. However, he says that in future, he will charge clients for every successful connection.