He says he is only back with his ex for the money – is it true?

Recently, a woman he had a child with, and who had been living abroad, returned, and apparently, they have been in communication. When I confronted him, he told me that he only wanted money from her, that he no longer loved her, and that he was only playing along until he got the money. PHOTO | NATION

What you need to know:

  • I got to know about it when I called my boyfriend, and this woman answered the phone. When I confronted him, he told me that he only wanted money from her, that he no longer loved her, and that he was only playing along until he got the money.
  • Please help me, could he be telling me the truth considering the fact that the two of them are in touch?

Hi Phillip,

I have dated this man for nine months now. A short while after we met, he took me to meet his parents and siblings, acknowledged me as his wife, and said that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. There is a problem though. Recently, a woman he had a child with, and who had been living abroad, returned, and apparently, they have been in communication.

I got to know about it when I called my boyfriend, and this woman answered the phone. When I confronted him, he told me that he only wanted money from her, that he no longer loved her, and that he was only playing along until he got the money.

Please help me, could he be telling me the truth considering the fact that the two of them are in touch?

Please help me because I am really confused.

 

Hello there,

A tree is known by its fruits, so goes an old saying. Our character and behaviour reveal a lot about our core beliefs and values. I see warning signs all over your email. The fact is that this man is not being honest with himself and with you. Integrity in a relationship is key to whether you will have a fulfilling and successful relationship or not.

To begin with, this man has revealed some areas of life that should make you sit up and take notice. He promised you that you are the woman he loves, and then goes ahead to tell you, unashamedly, that he is ‘playing’ the other woman with whom he has a child with. Could this be the same story he is telling the other woman about his relationship with you? What I know for sure is that his actions and words reveal a lot about the kind of person he is.

Another issue is whether he had revealed to you earlier on in the relationship that he has a child with someone else. If not, then you should ask yourself whether you want to be in a relationship with someone who would deliberately keep such information from you.

I also find it strange that he can actually confess to you that he is trying to con the mother of his child into giving him money, money that he did not work for. If this is true, then I am afraid for you. Or could it be that you approve of what he is trying to do? That you don’t mind him getting money from this woman he claims not to love? If he is in this alone though, I am of the conviction that if he can do this to the mother of his child with your knowledge, then what would stop him from doing the same to you?

My advice is that you should be bold and firm and confront him concerning this. Stand up for what is right and you will be fine. It could also be true that he could be using this story as a cover up, so that he can pick up the affair he had with this woman. You need to wake up! Whatever the case, his association with her behind your back was not right. I believe the story he has given is an attempt to create an opportunity to be in regular contact with her. Whether or not he is telling you the truth, my take is that this man has revealed to you who he really is, a dishonest man. Would you want to marry a dishonest man?