KITOTO: I am 28-years-old and in love with a 35-year-old woman

Sunday September 10 2017

Is it normal to marry a woman much older than

Is it normal to marry a woman much older than you are? PHOTO| FILE| NATION MEDIA GROUP 

By PHILIP KITOTO
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Hi Kitoto,

Please advise me. I am 28-years-old and in love with a 35-year-old woman. It took her a while to convince me that she is indeed 35 because she looks much younger than that. My friends, who know her, believe that we belong in the same age group. Last month, I introduced her to my parents and reception was unbelievable – they too said nothing about her appearance and gave us their blessings to go ahead with preparations for our wedding.

Now, my question is, is it normal to marry a woman much older than you are, and if it is, what are some of the challenges we are likely  to encounter in future due to this age difference? I really love this girl and am not willing to let her go.

Hi,

Although the opinion of your parents, siblings and friends regarding who you want to marry is crucial, it is not as important as what you feel. If your motive to marry this woman is because you love her and believe she is right for you, then please go ahead and marry her.

Some of your future challenges will emanate from the doubts and discomfort that you reveal in your email, unless you banish them now. Your biggest challenge therefore will be built around your perceptions; there is nothing abnormal in a man marrying an older woman; take the president of France for instance, whose wife is 24 years older than him.

To reassure you even more, there are several advantages of marrying an older woman: One is that an older woman brings maturity into the relationship, maturity that manifests itself in parenting, home management, sobriety when dealing with issues and awareness about their sexuality.

That said, men who are in relationships with older women seem to fear the subtle manipulation and desire to control that may come about with time.

In addition, older women tend to easily get jealous especially when their younger boyfriend or husband associates with his peers. But this need not be the case in your relationship.