KITOTO: Should I marry my blind girlfriend?
I am 21 years old and I am in love with a 29-year-old woman. She is blind, but she has some work skills. We truly love and trust each other. Should I marry her? PHOTO | FILE
What you need to know:
- While people blessed with eyes will tell you about love at first sight, those who can’t see will tell you about love at first sound.
- On the other hand, your girlfriend may be asking herself if anyone would honestly want to date, marry and have children with her in spite of her disability, or whether the suitor wants to take advantage of her.
Dear Kitoto,
I am 21 years old and I am in love with a 29-year-old woman. She is blind, but she has some work skills. We truly love and trust each other. Should I marry her?
Hello,
You may be asking yourself how your girlfriend can love and romance you, yet she can’t see you. Well, in relationships, the voice reveals a lot about what is going on in the brain of a person, as well as that person’s personality. A blind person can figure out many things about you just by hearing your voice. Voices are powerful tools that convey humour, seriousness, intelligence, sweetness and attitude. Your voice reveals your personality, feelings and attitude.
While people blessed with eyes will tell you about love at first sight, those who can’t see will tell you about love at first sound.
On the other hand, your girlfriend may be asking herself if anyone would honestly want to date, marry and have children with her in spite of her disability, or whether the suitor wants to take advantage of her.
This is a question parents of a disabled child also ask themselves, particularly if they are worried that their children may face abuse or neglect.
I am not an expert on disability, but from my years of counselling and reading up on disability, I can tell you this: You need to both think about what you need to do to make dating and marrying a meaningful and pleasurable experience for both of you.
Also, bear in mind that your disabled partner will not be perfect, and neither will you. Treat her like you would treat any other human being: with dignity and respect. Secondly, love her for who she is, not because you pity her; she doesn’t need that. Don’t marry her because you feel sorry for her, marry her because you love her.
Lastly, ask her often how you can be of help to her; don’t assume that you know what she wants.
