KITOTO: We met online, moved in together, but I am still sceptical
I met and dated this girl online for less than two months. It’s been almost three months since we moved in together and I am still sceptical about the whole thing. PHOTO| FILE| NATION MEDIA GROUP
What you need to know:
- I anticipate marriage in 3-4 years but the thought of marriage scares me to death, every time I think of it my stomach literally turns... I do not understand why.
- Your fear may be the result of feeling that this is more that you can handle. My prayer is that you count the cost.
- Relationships that stand the test of time consist of couples that make the choice to focus entirely on doing whatever is necessary to make it work.
Kitoto, I met and dated my girl online for less than two months, and now it’s almost three months since we moved in together. There hasn’t been any major disagreement or argument between us but I am still skeptical about the whole thing. Are there successful marriages that owe their origins to the digital space online?
Maurice.
Maurice, how people met does not matter that much. I have heard stories from those who met in matatus, weddings, funerals, or even at the workplace. So, really, where people met for the first time has no consequence in as far as the health, longevity, and chemistry of the marriage are concerned.
So, what matters for any growing relationship? First, the level of disclosure. Secrets and ambiguities lead to mistrust that will eventually kill a relationship. Disclosure communicates openness, security, and faithfulness to either partner. Of course this might make you feel vulnerable, but one of the keys to a great marriage is trust.
Second, relationships that experience unity in purpose are built on mutual agreement. Such agreement must cover many areas that affect the two, including personal and corporate vision, finances, and parenting. When common ground is not reached in such issues, a difficult time could hang over the relationship.
So, Maurice, my worry is whether the few months you were together before you moved in gave you enough confidence about her. Your current feelings don’t seem to arise from issues in the relationship as your concern is whether a couple who met the way you did can have a great marriage.
Let me repeat myself: if you know her well and the two of you are confident of the love that exists between yourselves, then where you met is immaterial.
