After messing up his life, he now expects me to help him
I do not know how long my husband expects me to support him when he is making life difficult for himself. FILE PHOTO |
What you need to know:
- I do not see the need to indulge in the past you had together.
- Do not allow yourself to be manipulated or taken for granted.
Hi,
I am 34 and have been married for 10 years.
I feel really stressed because of my husband. We were living happily until 2012, when he went to work in another country and married a woman from there without informing me.
He said he was coming back home in December, but I was against the idea because I wanted him to first settle a debt I had incurred because of him; a Sh450,000 loan I took and gave him to set up a business.
However, he ignored my protests and came back with the woman.
After some time, he went back and left her there after renting her a house. He began to splash any money he got on her.
He asked her to join him and paid the air tickets for her and her children (she is divorced). He stayed there with her for nine months without sending me any money, apart from the children’s school fees.
Now he is back in the country and, funny enough, he told me that he had left the woman and that we should reconcile and start afresh. I later learnt that he had come back with her.
What hurts me most is that he wants me to give him money to set up a business, yet I am repaying a loan because of him. Where do I get the money to give him? He wants me to sell my land.
Kindly advise me what to do. I am confused. I do not know how long he expects me to support him when he is making life difficult for himself.
**
Hi,
I can see that you now know what sort of person your man is. I just wonder why you are still listening to him.
I do not think he has anything new to offer. I do not see the need to indulge in the past you had together.
Your solution lies right in your history. First, he cannot be trusted. Second, you have enough evidence that he is a liar.
So, what is confusing you? Do not allow yourself to be manipulated or taken for granted.
TO OUR READERS: Many counsellors now believe that the Kenyan family, the building block of our society and nation, is in a crisis. There is unhappiness and discord where there should be love and joy. We have put together a diverse team of experts, family and marriage counsellors, led by Mr Philip Kitoto, to help heal the family by offering advice and support. Readers’ questions will be answered in print and online at www.nation.co.ke. Send your questions to [email protected], or to The Editor, DN2, P O Box 49010, GPO 00100, Nairobi.
