So you can’t agree with your spouse on decor?

Décor experts agree that it is  normal for couples to disagree on how to go about decorating their home.

“The fact that you have fallen in love doesn’t mean that you have transformed into new beings. No. The things you liked or detested will remain the same, and so conflict will arise once in a while,” says Joyce Mwihaki, a psychology graduate.

“I don’t think I can put down all the incidents I have encountered where couples have conflicting interests on how their house should be designed or decorated,” says Ms Rebecca Siwa, an interior designer with Ficuz Designs.

Interior  aspects such as colour, colour patterns, furniture position,  upholstery, lighting, surface finishing, personal items (such as art), as well as special units such as home bars, bring about the differences. This, Ms Siwa says, is nothing out of the ordinary.                

She adds: “You find that a woman wants scatter cushions strewn all over their low-lying wood furniture or fabric upholstery, but the man of the house has something else mind, as he doesn’t believe that is masculine enough.”

FINDING A COMMON GROUND

 In such a situation, says a décor expert, Mr Joshua Ireri, the role of an interior designer is to interpret the couple’s intent in decorating their home.

“Mainly, you find that the couple are speaking the same language of refurbishing the house, but different dialects on the decorations they prefer”. Thus, he says, it is important to first understand the generic values that men and women attach to homes. Naturally, he adds, a woman’s attachment to the house is emotional, it is a place to raise a family, and  she will mainly be concerned on the aesthetics and what people say about it. Men on the other hand take pride of a home as an investment and a place for comfort.

“If the husband feels that a particular décor object, no matter how appealing it is, interferes with his comfort, he will be against it.”

As such, Mr Ireri explains, it is important for the interior designer to assume a non-aligned social broker’s position and let the couple own the process equally. “When both man and wife feel that they can trust you, then it’s very easy to find a solution”, he points out.

PAINTING

“If the problem has to do with painting, the solution might be in something as simple as coming up with a game of cards and advising them on complimentary colours, colour psychology and colour patterns,” he observes.

Cards of different colours, he adds, can be cut and placed against different sections of the house plan, and the interior designer will explain to them what each colour compliments. This will help find colours that interest both of them. This way, the interior designer can guide the couple in agreeing on what section of the house will be painted with each’s taste.

Note that some colours are unsuitable for intimate units such as the bedroom.

“Pink for instance is known to make men feel insecure when painted in the bedroom,” says Ms Siwa.

As such, she advises, if the lady insists on pink, it’s the interior designer’s job to guide her to more subtle colours.

“Strawberry or blended pink can fit in very well,” she says.

LIGHTING

According to the experts, in most cases, couples do not agreeing on the amount of lighting that should be permissible in some sections of the house or brightness.

“The solution might be using less bright lightings like down lighters, and then painting the walls with non-reflective colours. The lighting will be less bright this way”, she adds.

You can also use stain glasses over a lampshade to create a diverse atmosphere of varied colour lightings.

Though traditional, Mr Ireri says, it’s important to let the man’s chair have a place in the living room, as this flatters his ego. “Once that is there, few men would bother with what their wives want with the rest of the furniture.” 

When deciding on upholstery, you can come up with something more masculine for the man and something chic for the woman.

“The man’s chair can be given masculine characters such as leather upholstery, a steel frame and larger compared to the other set of chairs”, he says, and adds: “For the rest of the furniture, you can use fabric for upholstery as well as having scatter cushions that most women like”.