My student wants to sleep in my house

Dear Kitoto,

I am 27 and was employed by the Teachers Service Commission (TSC) three years ago.

I was posted to a well-known boys’ school in western Kenya. I am single and I live in the school compound.

I get along well with most students as I am a member of the Guiding and Counselling Department.

There is this Form Three academic prefect who likes my company so much that he frequently comes to my house when he is free.

He has suggested spending the night at my house on several occasions.

Is there something wrong with this boy? What should I do?

Hi,

According to the TSC, a teacher is an important person in imparting knowledge, skills, and attitudes to learners.

The issue of sexual harassment has become a big thing and is being taken seriously by the management in schools and workplaces.

I know you are well aware of the code of conduct for the teaching profession that you are a part of.

I believe you know that it is both criminal and unethical for a teacher to have an intimate emotional relationship with a student.

It is considered that, as a teacher, and especially as a member of the guidance and counselling team, you are this young boy’s mentor.

I think both of you have something to deal with. It is very easy for a young man like this one to feel an emotional attachment to a female teacher like you.

By being attracted to you, he has not committed an offence. God made us that way.

However, if such attraction is not properly channelled, it can lead to an illicit relationship.

You have a duty to guide this young man. His attraction to you as a female, though normal, is misplaced. It will be important for you to watch your emotional attachment and avoid getting involved.

Many laws, including the Children’s Act and the Sexual Offences Act, clearly criminalise sex with children.

What is more, the TSC has guidelines for protecting children from sexual abuse in school.

Such rules “… ban students from visiting teachers’ homes, warn teachers against using the promise of academic progress to coerce children into sexual liaisons, and stipulate that any sexual abuse of a child should be reported to the commission within 24 hours,” according to an article in VITA magazine.

I, therefore, suggest that you keep your distance and control your emotions. Secondly, his visiting your house should not even be a matter for discussion as it will compromise your position as an authority figure in his life.

You need respect, and this demands some level of emotional detachment. Third, it is important that you gauge your involvement with him.

If you feel attached, it may be necessary to seek a transfer and some level of emotional support from a counsellor.

Familiarise yourself with your profession’s code of conduct.