Thank you for the good work you have been doing in this column.
There is a girl I used to be intimate with. I knew that she had a boyfriend, but this did not stop me, something I regret.
The relationship however ended. Sometime back, we attended a birthday party of one of our friends. She got drunk and started insulting me, yet I hadn’t provoked her in any way.
I also found out that whenever she gets drunk, she calls my friends and asks them about my whereabouts. Whenever I come across her and confront her about this, she claims that she doesn’t recall insulting me or calling my friends, even though I have told her to leave me alone because she has a boyfriend.
What is her problem?
As much as you are sorry about the affair and ended it, it is obvious that this girl is finding it difficult to erase the feelings that arose from it. Her erratic behaviour could be one way of expressing her inner feelings.
It could be that this affair opened up a door in her life that she is finding hard to close. If this affair was a fling for you, then the current state of affairs shows that there is need to bring some finality to it.
I suggest that both of you get together and openly talk about what is happening, and what you think about it.
The fact is that she may be feeling used by you, hence offended.
Approach the issue soberly to avoid wounding her more than she already is.