I’d like us to wed in church but my fiancé will have none of it
What you need to know:
- I believe a baby should not be simply a consequence of sexual intimacy but a decision that is carefully thought through.
- Depending on a man’s background, exposure or associations, he can pick up habits that can negatively affect his marriage.
Hello Mr Kitoto,
Thank you for the good work you are doing.
I am a born-again and committed church and youth team member. I have been in a relationship for two years but my fiancé says he is not ready for a wedding because he doesn’t have enough money. He is employed by the government, and when he told me the amount he earns, I told him it would be enough since I had told my parents not to ask for bride price before we wed. I feel I must wed to fulfill my heart’s desire and it is something I have been praying and fasting about. But we always disagree whenever I talk about us having a church wedding.
We have visited both my parents and his, and my parents told him that we should wed and gave us a week to decide on the matter. He has not communicated with me, yet this is the second week. I am so stressed out because of his silence. My mum is telling me hurtful things about getting married without a church wedding, making me fear such a marriage as well as my future.
Please tell me what to do.
Hi,
Thank you for the compliments. We commit ourselves to do all we can to respond to and create an enabling forum where we can handle and share issues concerning relationships.
Keep reading. We all need whatever we can get to manage today’s relationships.
I sense from your email a sincere desire to have a church wedding. Your values are commendable.
However, I get the feeling that your fears have more to do with your mum and what she will say or do.
I pray that you and your fiancé come to share these values so that he does not think it is your mother influencing you.
BE SINCERE
I suggest that you meet him and share the reasons why you feel you must have a church wedding.
Be sincere without making any reference to your mother in the discussion. Let him know your values and deep convictions and why they are important to you.
I would also say that, as much as a wedding is important to you, it is even more important to understand why marriage is.
In the end it is the marriage that lasts, not the wedding. Please get me right; I am not belittling weddings.
But let the right convictions about marriage lead both of you to desire a God-honouring marriage, such that your church can bless the union because you have built it on the right foundation.
