How he treats others could be a reflection of how he will treat you

Consider this scenario. A couple goes to a hotel for a pre-planned dinner date. The young man, Jackson, had made prior arrangements with the hotel management, so he expected everything to run smoothly.

He was disappointed though; terribly disappointed, to put it mildly.

To begin with, their table had not been laid out when they got there, and the flowers he had specifically asked for were still in the manager’s office. Two things happened; the first was that Jackson kept his cool, surprising his girlfriend, as well as the hotel staff who had expected fireworks for their sloppiness. Although he was firm and demanded his money back, he neither raised his voice nor insulted anyone.

The second thing that happened was that his girlfriend’s love, confidence, and respect towards him went a notch higher. She had been watching how he interacted with others, but how he handled that day’s events was exceptional.

My subject today regards how our partners or potential partners relate to others, what it says about them, and how this affects our relationships.

The case narrated above illustrates my conviction that how you treat others has an impact on our relationship. The principle reason I believe so is that your true character is clearer when dealing with people that you are not closely connected to, emotionally. These might be employees, such as house helps and watchmen, colleagues at work, or even strangers.

In the story above, for instance, Susan, Jackson’s girlfriend, observed him in a situation that anyone would have understood had he exploded and made a scene, yet he did not not.

The combination of being calm, yet firm with those in the wrong convinced her that he was the right person to share her life with.

A second thought is that observing a partner’s interaction with others might give a clue about how important people in your life are likely to be treated by your partner.

Again, this is crucial to the relationship because if he treats them unfairly in your opinion, it will impact your wellbeing, as well as the relationship.

An interesting illustration in this regard comes from a woman who regrets ignoring clear signs that her future husband disliked children.

She married him, but had to endure bringing up children with a man who cared little about them, beyond providing for their needs. For instance, she would watch in agony as her son ran to meet his father, only for him to merely part him on the head, sometimes leaving him crying as he pleaded to be lifted in his arms.

A final thought is that observing a future partner’s interaction with other might be helpful in teaching you how to handle your partner in the future, should you decide to get married.

However, the ‘handling’ does not have to wait for the future, because that might be too late. If uncomfortable about how he or she relates to someone, raise it with him immediately, to initiate a discussion that could help you to understand each other better.

CONCLUSION

This discussion would be incomplete without making two important observations. A single negative incident does not define a person’s character, so give your partner the benefit of doubt. Two, it is possible for your partner to pretend in your presence and treat people well to please you. In view of this, overall assessment should only be made on the basis of various aspects of the relationship, not just one.

This means that if you are in a new relationship, it is important to pay attention to how your partner treats others, including his relatives, because it could be a reflection of how he treats you in future.