Do you have Attention Dating Disorder? when it comes to dating?

Attention Deficit Disorder, (ADD) is a medical condition where one has difficulty concentrating even for a short period.

One moves from one task to the next, never completing any, and unless deliberate action is taken to help this individual control symptoms, his or her quality of life is likely to be poor.

A new kind of ADD is emerging, a social trend that has been labelled Attention Deficit Dating. Just like its medical equivalent, “sufferers” can hardly stick with one person, and quickly move from one to another and even date several people at a time.

Shift in attitudes

The primary cause of this, in my view, is the change in attitude regarding the various aspects of relationships, including love, sex, and marriage. This change has been gradual in our society, and what ADD daters have done is push the limits, making dating a game of cards, where they hold the ace and control the game.

Information overload

No doubt, the current generation has access to so much information very early in life. That in itself is not a problem, because in fact, the more one knows, the better.  What lacks, however, is the ability to sift through these terabytes of information, decide what is useful and discard the rest.

Technology

The other chief culprit in this game is technology, which plays two key roles. First, it provides easy and instant platforms for people to meet, such as social media, including dating sites. Let me digress to make this point.

I recently read an article claiming that married women are likely to cheat on their husbands after occasions such as Mother’s Day, if they do not feel appreciated.

And how was this claim reached?

Apparently hits on a “cheating” website for married people usually spike sharply immediately after Mothers’ Day and other occasions honouring women. Back to the point; dating anyone can be as easy as hitting a button!

Second, technology provides information that would have taken a long time to gather a few years ago. All you need to do is Google a name to get one’s profile. Those with ADD believe this is all they need to pick or drop a date.

Effects

I have concluded that attention deficit dating is a social disorder that will have far-reaching consequences in future. Such daters receive as much pain as they give, and transitioning to serious relationships might prove very difficult to accomplish in the future.

For example, such daters argue that dating as many people as possible is necessary before marriage. The question is, how much test driving is sufficient to assure success in marriage? The answer is, none.

But few believe this – the fact is that many young people in society have lost faith in relationships, regularly getting into one without any intention or hope of staying.

This disillusionment among the younger generation is one explanation for the current trend, where older partners are preferred.

Way forward

There are two categories of people involved here. The first are the ADD daters, the second are their victims. To the first category, it is important to know that ADD is harmful to your social and psychological well-being.

Stop and reflect on the gains of this habit and work towards building a lasting relationship.

To the victims of these daters, my challenge  is not to jump  onto the bandwagon because the result is more pain.

There are many people looking for real relationships, and with time and careful assessment, you can still find real love. Insist on meeting real people, not icons on social media. It is also important to set standards that will shield you from such predators.