Lead by example

Do you sometimes feel that your teen is being melodramatic? Throwing tantrums, shouting and banging doors? Just like adults, teens also have their own frustrations to deal with. PHOTO | FILE

What you need to know:

  • They might not seem as “big” as ours seem, but they are big enough to them. How you show them to handle such problems will play a big role in helping them handle “bigger” problems in future.
  • Children learn by observing, and listening. If you lie, they will too, and if you bully them, they will most probably turn out to be bullies as well. Teaching is not only through words, but also through actions.

Do you sometimes feel that your teen is being melodramatic? Throwing tantrums, shouting and banging doors? Just like adults, teens also have their own frustrations to deal with.

They might not seem as “big” as ours seem, but they are big enough to them. How you show them to handle such problems will play a big role in helping them handle “bigger” problems in future.

Apart from bullying, exam and relationship-related stress; peer pressure is the most common cause of this frustration.

Peer pressure can be too much to handle for your teen, but there are several ways you can help your teen develop a strong personality and handle any pressure that may come his way.

Build a strong character:
Let your teen know that he does not need to live up to anyone’s standards.

Emphasise this and help him build a strong character. Let him know when you are proud of him, not just when you are angry with him.

Set a good example and be a good role model to him.
Teach good morals:
Children learn by observing, and listening. If you lie, they will too, and if you bully them, they will most probably turn out to be bullies as well. Teaching is not only through words, but also through actions.
Allow them to make decisions:
As parents, we may feel the need to make every decision for our children. Sometimes however, you need to sit back and let them make the choice for themselves. In this, they learn that every choice has a consequence, and instils in them a sense of responsibility.
Share your stories.
It does no harm to share your failures and successes with your teen. From your successes and failures, they learn that you are human too, and feel more comfortable about charting their own way.
Always be there for them:
It is not enough to just feed and clothe them, your teen is at a stage where he has so many questions and very few answers. Let him know that you will always be available in case he needs advise, comfort or guidance.
As you may have found out, being a parent to a teen can be very demanding and trying, and afraid that your child could get into bad company, get pregnant, or find themselves in all those scary scenarios we hear about, you could be tempted to be too strict.

However, you will not accomplish much by using force; in fact, most teens rebel against force, and instead of getting them to comply with your demands, you will force them where you are trying to lead them away from.

You may have been disciplined through the cane, but I can assure you that today’s child does not respond to the cane. Instead, talk, and lead by example.