It is possible to say ‘No’ to temptation

Almost all of us can confess to have had this suspense-filled, sometimes scary dream where your roll towards a cliff or fall from a high point.

You wake up just before you hit the ground, sweating, heart pounding. There are many varieties of such dreams, but the thread running through them is that a seemingly inevitable tragedy disappears just in the nick of time.

My interest is not in the near tragedy in such dreams; rather, the tragedy that beckons in relationships. Question is, do we have the ability to see it coming and the courage to turn back?

This is how the story of falling in love goes. James meets Jane. He is attracted and makes a move.

She already saw it coming (that is what women tell us) and only gives token resistance then accepts his proposal. The ending of this story should be “and they lived happily ever after,” until you read the next line which reads: “Both Jane and James are married”.

FATAL BOREDOM

Why it happens is a no brainer; we all get attracted to other people besides our spouses.

Sometimes, it is our circumstances that push us that way, disaffection with our present relationships being the number one cause. Others include work situations, business relationships, and boredom.

Most of the time, we do nothing about the attraction and it disappears pretty fast. However, sometimes we focus on this attraction and begin the journey towards the cliff. After that, we start hoping that it is just a bad dream from which we will wake up. Some people do wake up before it happens, but many others find themselves in the pit, having lost everything — love, family, health.

WE CAN TURN BACK

If you are headed towards a cliff, you can turn back, even if you are at the precipice. From the experiences of many people whose stories I know, making the decision to turn back is difficult. This is so because as it has been said, stolen waters are sweet and the promises that await you can bend even the strongest of wills.

But no matter how far you have gone, you can still turn back, even if you are already between the bed sheets.

The best moment to turn, though, is at the beginning when the thought first strikes. If you allow it to develop, you will find yourself at the point of no return.

If you are asking yourself, “What can I do to get out of this trap?” it means that you can still save yourself.

CONCLUSION

You might have a foot on the cliff and can clearly see the jugged edges of the rocky face waiting to tear you into pieces. You can already see the darkness and nothingness, but the fact is that you can still turn back.

The writer is a counsellor. Do you have a question? Write to [email protected]