No way, my child is no ‘accident’

TO CUT A long story short, I’m given the diet guide from the Autism Society of Kenya. It has about a half a page of to-do list. The rest is about “elimination”. Cutting certain foodstuffs from our diet.

The assessor has told me that the test results are inconclusive. But I reckon he’s just being polite. I’m also a counsellor. I know he doesn’t want to hit me with the full weight. Not just yet.

The unspoken result is that my third-born son, Issa, who’s three and a half, has autism spectrum disorder (ASD).

Essentially, we are being told to start our lives afresh. We have been accustomed to eating and doing things a certain way. Now we are told that we have to radically shift. We are being told, in not so many words, that all this time we have been doing things the wrong way. All along, our ignorance of the condition and how to manage it, has been our undoing.

ANGELS ARE WATCHING

I want to sit somewhere and cry. And I mean really cry, not just whimper and fight back tears. I want to cry me a river. Many times, I have known that crying will ease the emotional tension, although it won’t solve anything. After the assessment, I head home with wet eyes. Today, it’s not going to rain: it’s going to pour. I can feel it.

“Did I do something wrong during conception?” I ask myself. “Or did something happen at birth or after birth, which may have contributed to Issa’s condition?”

I am not sure, I am concentrating on the road ahead. The journey is all a blur to me. I don’t remember how I get safely home. I guess the angels are watching over me.

CRYING A RIVER

On arrival, I go straight to the shower. Nope. I don’t want to take a bath. I want to cry. Really cry. That’s exactly what I do. Cry. It’s the first time I’ve bawled in a long time.

Crying works. I know it’s not the elixir, but it takes care of some immediate burden. I feel so relieved afterwards, but I know I have to get cracking on what the doctor said.

KITCHEN MAKEOVER

I start in the kitchen. Into the garbage bin, I chuck the tomato sauce, margarine and all foodstuffs that contain wheat. Other condemned foods such as sugar, I now put in an airtight container.

These are strictly out of bounds for Issa, although the rest of the family can use them in moderation. I don’t know how Issa is going to handle the transition. Bread has become his favourite food. Henceforth, he’s going to give it a wide berth.

Of this I’m doubly sure. It’s going to be challenging adapting to this restricted diet. I’m prepared to tough it out, whatever it takes. What’s more, we don’t have another option, but to toe this diet line.

WHIZ KID IN THE MAKING

They say that “mothers know”. I can’t put my finger on it, but my sixth sense tells me that Issa is headed for big things.
Fast-forward …

Issa has been to school for only three months, but he can spell words like rauka, kubamba, Kenya at fifty, KENWA, prank stars. The works.

Besides, he can write from one to 20, and A-to-Z. For your information, he can start from Z all the way to A without thinking or looking at a notebook. Plus, he can write words backwards and forwards, correctly, off-head. And it’s only three months. Yippee!

This explains why all my house walls — including the gates — are decorated with Issa’s writings. If you visit us, don’t dare to tear any packaged thing upside-down. He will cry that you patch it up, and open it upside-up or in a readable way. Forewarned is forearmed!

MAMA'S AWESOMELY SPECIAL GIFT

I’m learning that, like the Bible says, every child, regardless, is a gift from God. Issa’s just what God ordered for me. He’s no accident. He was sent to the right address at God’s appointed time.

I have also learnt that some famous folks who made history or invented things were known to be autistic. People like Charles Darwin, Isaac Newton and Albert Einstein. So my Issa is special.

And I mean special, as in awesome: not special, as in oddball.

This is the diary of Asunta Wagura, a mother-of-five who tested HIV-positive 25 years ago. She is the executive director of the Kenya Network of Women with Aids (KENWA). Email: [email protected]