Thank you, but I already have a dance partner

For our Christmas holiday two years ago, we decided not to go upcountry because we had a small baby and thought it unwise to subject her to the cold of the Mt Kenya region.

However, since the last thing I wanted to do was roll chapatis while the rest of the world was on holiday, I managed to convince my husband that it was a good idea to go on holiday somewhere warm, away from home.

“You make the arrangements, but bear in mind that January means school fees,” cautioned hubby.

With this in mind, I did my research, and on Christmas Eve, we checked into a warm hotel not far from the city. The place was bustling with excited holidaymakers.

LAST DANCE

For entertainment, one event included dancing by the bonfire every other night. I sighed in regret at the romantic idea. It would have been the height of irresponsibility to leave two young children in a hotel room to go out to dance, would it not?

On the first day, my daughter and I managed to go swimming as hubby and baby took their afternoon nap. Since it was not going to happen anyway, we forgot about the dancing.

On the second night, however, as we had our Christmas dinner, the resort manager came to our table.

With her fake hair flowing down her back, fake red talons on show, (pardon me, but you will soon understand where my venom is coming from), she hovered over our table, and insisted that we attend the dance later that evening.

I smiled graciously and told her that since we had young children, we would have to miss the highlight of the Christmas night.

In the course of the evening, when our daughter asked to use the bathroom, I escorted her and left her father with the baby. We were gone for only a few minutes and came back to find hubby looking quite amused.

“What’s the joke?” I asked.

“Someone just offered me a last dance,” he said when our daughter was out of earshot.

Apparently, the Talon woman had rushed over during my brief absence and offered to be hubby’s dance partner for the night once mama and the children went off to bed.

First of all, only a child should be allowed to call a woman mama. Secondly, however suicidal you feel, it goes against every rule to flirt or “dart” a man when his woman is just a few feet away.

Lastly, you must never offer to entertain an obviously married man or woman unless you plan to meet your maker prematurely.

“Of course I told her I already had a dance partner,” hubby said as I contemplated how to dispose of her body afterwards.

FULL DISCLOSURE

Disclosure, as our family friend, Nick, says, is one way to build trust in marriage.

“My wife has access to my phone and email. I would not like her to second-guess me or my motives,” Nick once told us.

If hubby had not told me about this come-on, only for me to somehow get to know about it, it would have dulled my trust in him.

Trust is a fragile ingredient, so it would not hurt to disclose the inevitable “propositions” that are thrown our way. This is why the following morning as we had breakfast, I told him about the old geezer across the table winking at me. What I did not expect was that hubby would sharply turn to glare at him, only to find the man’s wife glaring at me!

It was Christmas, a holy day, yet some people were keener to get into sin than repentance, I observed, amused.

As for me and my family, we will serve the Lord.