Comrades, you are too young to die for love

Thursday March 3 2016

I do think it is highly unwise to stay in relationship that causes you bruises and night-sweats. Love is not supposed to be one long gut-wrenching misery; it should actually be peaches and cream. ILLUSTRATION | JOSEPH NGARI

I do think it is highly unwise to stay in relationship that causes you bruises and night-sweats. Love is not supposed to be one long gut-wrenching misery; it should actually be peaches and cream. ILLUSTRATION | JOSEPH NGARI 

Tucked within the pages of this newspaper’s Sunday edition was a tear-jerking story touching on my comrades. But then again, when it comes to my comrades, no news is hardly ever good news. I long for a day when I’ll be chronicling inspirational and heart-lifting tales concerning this lot of mine. But I digress.

“A fourth year student was on Friday night stabbed to death by her boyfriend,” read the first sentence of the odious article on Sunday. I don’t see the need to elaborate more, for that sentence encapsulates all you need to know for now. Besides, I am almost tearing up as I recount the incidence. It’s a distressing state of affairs and a murder-most foul.

Come to think about it however, the unfortunate incidence reported was not a first. If you press the rewind button, you will run out of fingers and toes while counting the cases that have involved university students being either murdered or maimed by their lovers during the past year. In fact, I shudder at the thought of this atrocity growing to becoming accepted as common-place.

PEACHES AND CREAM

My old man, Grandpa Richard, has in the past expressed views that university students can pull this country out of its moral limbo and jitterbug down to the road of common decency by learning how to treat ladies.

“It is a touchstone of manhood to be respectful, polite and courteous to all women,” Said the charmer who got married to the most beautiful lass of his time. Not once in their decades-long marriage has Grandpa Richard raised a hand against Grandma Sarah.

Why do people hold onto abusive relationships? This is a question that has been asked many times across multiple cultures and both genders. It is easy to dismiss someone holding onto an abusive relationship as simple-minded or hopelessly out of touch, but the issue is more byzantine under the surface. The answer is something I can’t purport to understand; an issue that can only be resolved by widespread cultural, institutional and psychological education.

Having said that, I do think it is highly unwise to stay in relationship that causes you bruises and night-sweats. Love is not supposed to be one long gut-wrenching misery; it should actually be peaches and cream.

While in college, you still have the rest of your life ahead of you, and it will be foolhardy to complicate yourself by keeping up with another person’s bullish behaviour. If he as much as raises his voice, kindly flee before it morphs into an anger that could easily put you in the intensive care unit. The worst thing you can do is to stick around a belligerent lover because he promised you he’ll change—they never do.

You are still young, and at this point dating is supposed to be fun. Don’t be brainwashed into thinking nobody else could love you like they do.

Another myth is tricking yourself into thinking you couldn’t cope without your partner.

You’d rather be alone than let your significant other consign you to the morgue. You’re too young to die for love.