Cocktail of love for Christmas

One of my favourite expressions is by someone I know nothing about: a certain Lily Madam Bollinger.

She is on my list of New Year’s plans (no, I don’t do resolutions, they fizzle out in February) of “know-someone-new”. Madam Bollinge said; “I drink champagne when I’m happy and when I’m sad. Sometimes I drink it when I’m alone.

"When I have company I consider it obligatory. I trifle with it when I’m not hungry and drink it when I am. Otherwise, I never touch it – unless I’m thirsty”. Cool, huh?

I am not an alcoholic, neither am I rich enough to afford champagne with every breath, but just like we have some products priced differently to suit each pocket, I can afford to replace champagne with love.

The paragraph reads as beautifully. A little dose of love is the antidote to a million mental and physical ailments. Being the season of goodwill and cheer, it should not be that difficult to spread some love around.

FORGIVENESS
Some people will take their annual trip to a children’s home because after that they can feel better about over-indulging, others will remember their previous year’s resolution and start attending church as they make the same resolution for next year, same resolution they have made since they became adults.

Cheating husbands will have a little more love to give to the legitimate family, mainly because the mpango wa kando has travelled to the village.

Some people will feel a little extra love for their boss, but this would obviously have a lot to do with the bonus; unfortunately, this will turn into love of the local village pub where all the love might turn into self-hate – what with spending the bonus to impress the villagers.

As you spread your love around in whatever way you choose, remember that forgiveness is what completes the love formulae.

Forgive your trespassers because the burden of carrying a grudge only pulls you down, slows you down; grudges give birth to anger, channelling too much energy to the wrong pipe.

Forgive your enemies, no matter how nasty they are. Let them wonder whether you are something of an idiot for not acknowledging their wrongdoings.

A SELFISH ACT

Some people will go out of their way to get you worked up so that you can react to their actions. As ironic as it might sound, if you do not react, you win.

Unfortunately, being the bigger person by not reacting is one of the hardest things one can be expected to do. But then again, stuff that satisfies you is not easy to come by.

I remember a pastor once telling us that forgiving is a selfish act. Hard to believe when you need to forgive a spouse who is a serial cheater, a liar, a con or an abuser.

But there is a positive catch – when you forgive a cheating spouse, it does not mean you have to necessarily stick with them, it doesn’t mean you give the con a second chance, neither does it mean you turn the other cheek to the abuser.

Forgiving is synonymous with clearing a bothersome bush to make way for a lovely lawn, or accepting a situation you cannot change and finding a solution.  

UNAVOIDABLE SADNESS

It is possible to keep the stress to the minimum. Surround yourself with people who make you happy, make you laugh; people who celebrate your achievements even though they have not achieved much themselves.

People who minimise life’s unavoidable sadness. Let the rest be. They might reduce the number of acquaintances, but they will equally reduce the amount of stress you have to deal with.

This Christmas, love a lot, keep the love going until next Christmas. Forgive too, it’s a great Christmas present to oneself.