DALLIANCE DIARY: Kenyan men and the Eritrean hoax

Two weeks ago, we had a break from the Eurobond saga and cheap political jibes and we went  “Eritrea Dreaming”. What a week it was, with some Kenyan men threatening to leave the country for greener pastures (read prettier damsels), trying to bring out

the green-eyed monster in Kenyan women by making them feel that they are worthless! What cheap shots those were.

Of course, the story was a hoax, which makes me wonder why anyone would waste their energy writing for newspapers when they can actually make millions writing blockbuster novels. Back to the story: it might have been a hoax, but it exposed part of

the underbelly of the  type of men we have in Kenya.

Before you lynch me, I know a lot of good men, but as with most things, when good people do not speak against evil, it prevails – the Kenyan men who appreciate the Kenyan women sat in the VIP cubicles, popcorn in hand, and watched the drama. Out

there, people probably think Kenyan woman are cursed with half-baked men who would take off at the first opportunity.

Had the story been true, I doubt all the noise makers would have made the trip anyway. Most of them were just testing feelings, behaving like people who threaten to commit suicide, just to see if anybody cares enough to stop them.

In my not-so-humble opinion, these are men who do not value the women in their lives because you know what, men who value their women do not take the slightest opportunity to make them feel dispensable.

Men are supposed to make women feel secure instead of making them feel like some cheap wash-and-wear T-shirt you have no qualms binning. Women love confident men, but not over-confident men.

The men updating their social media status on how they planned to cross over were actually assuming the Eritrean women would be happy to be whisked off by anyone from Asmara to…let’s say, Kiandutu. What these men do not know is, scarcity of a

product does not equal to desperation for a product. Next time, think about that.

There are men who went as far as saying that Eritrean women are prettier than Kenyan women. Really? Have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately? You are not exactly Jamie Foxx and next time you want to date a Halle Berry look-a-like, you better

make sure you have the looks to match And for your information, describing all Kenyan women as ugly is really not cool.

WORK ON YOUR SELF ESTEEM

Physical beauty, I keep saying, is an amazing thing; beauty is also diverse and there are different strokes for different folks. However, if beauty is all you are looking for in a woman, you need to work on your self-esteem, brother.

If you think Eritrean women are prettier than Kenyan women just because they, apparently, all have symmetrical faces and are light complexioned, I beg, next time do not judge a women who says that White men are more romantic than Black men because

you are both totally brainwashed.

If you wanted an Eritrean woman because you have heard they are submissive, there are countless submissive women in Kenya, so there’s no need to go to a land far away where you cannot speak Sheng. There are submissive women in every corner of the world, even in your neighbourhood. If you cannot handle a woman who questions you (and I am not referring to abusive, either emotionally or physically, women), then I am sure I speak for Kenyan women when I say that we probably do not need you

around. If Eritrea does not take you, try its neighbour.

Before I sent this article to my editor, I asked a friend to give me an opinion about it. She thought it was too “fiery”, that it sounds angry, like I am slighted, like I took the whole Eritrean thing personally. All that is true, I definitely felt all that.

As much as I try not to get too personal in Dalliance Diary, sometimes a touch of the personal helps drive a point home. I am a mother of two daughters. I want my daughters to end up with real men, men who will stand by them through the storm, not run

to every new venture.

I do not want my girls to end up with men who will make them feel worthless when the men do not get their way. I work hard at making them assertive, and I would hate anyone to make them think it is a weakness. This articles if for all the mothers out

there who share my feelings.