Guys, when a woman TELLS YOU no, she means it
Actually guys, the word “no”, is not a blurred line. If a girl says no, you leave her alone, simple, that’s how it works. But thanks to pop culture, when she says no, you now respond with how you hate these blurred lines and you know she wants it. I ask again, who is your mother? PHOTO | FILE
What you need to know:
- It’s interesting that this kind of woman would not report a rape. I guess victim shaming affects all of us – even the formidable Madonna.
- It is rape if it is not consensual. Period. Irrespective of whatever point you two have reached, if she says no, you walk away.
Madonna recently went on Howard Stern’s show and talked about being raped when she first got to New York, fresh from Michigan and naïve about the big, bad city.
She did not report the assault because she was too humiliated to go through the physical examination, the personal questions and the judgment.
She trusted the guy enough to go into his apartment. He raped her. He got away with it.
This story is surprising to me because of what Madonna represents. She pushes the envelope. She breaks down barriers. She empowers women and doesn’t allow herself to be put in a box – not by society, not even by the church. It’s interesting that this kind of woman would not report a rape. I guess victim shaming affects all of us – even the formidable Madonna.
BLURRED LINES
This week, a Member of Parliament was accused of raping a woman. I read the story on the Daily Nation website and what followed were the most unbelievable comments (by both men and women), that have to be seen to be believed. “Why was she in his office on a Saturday night?”, “What were they discussing at 10:30pm?”
How does a gruesome ordeal and alleged rape turn so casually into “She was asking for it?”
I do not care whether it was 2pm or 2am. If she was wearing a buibui or a mini skirt. If she is married or single. If her hair is straight or curly. If they were in a conference room or a hotel room. If they were seated at a desk or lying in bed. If they had their clothes on or off. The circumstances are completely irrelevant.
It is rape if it is not consensual. Period. Irrespective of whatever point you two have reached, if she says no, you walk away.
We need to say this and say it often because, judging from some of the comments I saw this week, sexual predators get a pass if a woman is dressed a certain way, drinks too much, walks in a certain way, is out at a certain time, etc.
Who is your mother? Did she tell you (if you are a girl) how to take preventive measures against sexual assault and not tell her son it’s never okay to sexually assault a woman?
Did she say that as long as you are rich, famous or well known you couldn’t be accused of rape because the girl must really “want” it?
RAPE ANTHEM
We all hated Robin Givens for taking Mike Tyson away from us over something as silly as rape. It’s Mike Tyson, she must have wanted it. Seriously?
We loved and danced to Blurred Lines even as Robin Thicke and Pharell sang lyrics that effectively made the song a rape anthem:
I hate these blurred lines,
I know you want it,
I hate them lines,
I know you want it.
Actually guys, the word “no”, is not a blurred line. To be clear, the definition of “no” is a word used to indicate that something is quite the opposite of what is being specified.
If a girl says no, you leave her alone, simple, that’s how it works. But thanks to pop culture, when she says no, you now respond with how you hate these blurred lines and you know she wants it. I ask again, who is your mother?
And who on earth was your English teacher? This is not a difficult word to understand. Say it with me… No = Do not proceed further.
If you have been raped, do not be afraid to speak out. If their mothers and English teachers can’t make them understand a simple word, well, maybe a jail cell will.
