I do not want to have physical relations with her
Participants at KICC during the Career Day organised by the Rotary Club of Muthaiga. People are different, their talents lie in different areas, and that is the reason people are pursuing different careers. PHOTO | PETERSON GITHAIGA |
What you need to know:
- Also, just because she has not told you off does not mean she cannot accuse you of being irresponsible with her – do not take her silence for acceptance.
- I would advise you to speak to your parents and ask them how they feel about you; you might be pleasantly surprised. If they are not proud of you, take it as a challenge and prove them wrong. All the best.
Dear Cindy,
I am 19 years old. I work in a children’s home. I have fallen in love with a 15-year-old girl who is a beneficiary. I love her and want her in my life. I asked her whether she loves me, but she did not answer, so I assumed she loves me. I do not want to have physical relations with her, I just want her love. What do I do?
Joseph
Joseph, you have no business assuming anything with a 15-year-old girl. Before you go further, remember it is an offence punishable with many years in jail to have sex with an underage girl.
She has three years to go before she comes of age. I know you say you do not want to have sex with her, but that is not something you can swear to unless you have been presented in a situation.
Also, just because she has not told you off does not mean she cannot accuse you of being irresponsible with her – do not take her silence for acceptance.
Secondly, you cannot start having relationships with beneficiaries of such projects. You should learn early that even when you get another job, you will certainly be discouraged from having any personal relationships with clients.
She is technically your client, so unless you want to lose your job, let her be. You are young, with teenage hormones raging all over the place. You will get infatuated with many girls before you settle down, but please remember to consider the repercussions of what you get into. All the best.
Dear Cindy,
I am the first born in a family of four girls. My problem is that I feel like a failure. My sisters are successful, or almost there. The second born is a doctor, the third born an engineer, the third one is in a law school. I did not even make it to university and I think they look down on me.
What do I do?
Rosie
From your email, I feel the biggest battle is not from your family, but from yourself. You seem to be imagining things and I feel you have resigned yourself to being a failure.
People are different, their talents lie in different areas, and that is the reason your sisters are pursuing different careers. Your not going to university should not stop you from being an achiever – you could search on the Net the number of people who are successful in life who never went to university.
Have some time with yourself. Think hard about what you are passionate about and then follow it passionately. It could be business, or perhaps you want to go back to school to boost your confidence.
I would advise you to speak to your parents and ask them how they feel about you; you might be pleasantly surprised. If they are not proud of you, take it as a challenge and prove them wrong. All the best.
