KITOTO: All the men I meet want sex within just weeks
I am very conservative and old-fashioned and prefer waiting until I am comfortable with the man, or even until marriage. FILE PHOTO | NATION MEDIA GROUP
What you need to know:
- Is a woman a mere sex object? Of course there are many temptations that come in the heat of the moment, but I believe self-control helps bring accountability.
- Both men and women need to go slowly through their relationship to embrace values that define the relationship.
Dear Kitoto,
I am in my mid-twenties. The story of Hakheem on September 25 touched me, mostly because I can relate to it. I have been single for nearly five years because I can’t find the right man.
All the men I meet seem to want sex within just weeks, or worse still, days, of knowing each other. I am very conservative and old-fashioned and prefer waiting until I am comfortable with the man, or even until marriage.
This trait has seen me remain single for a long time since I refuse to settle for less or disrespect myself in such a manner.
I don’t regret my choices and I still have hope that there is a guy out there respectable enough and worthy of my patience. It probably does not help much that I am an introvert.
So when I read Hakheem’s post I found some similarities and thought perhaps we could get along well since we appear to be like-minded. I know you do not run a dating service but it would do me a world of good if you would at least publish my letter and maybe get us in touch via e-mail.
Faith
Hi,
In addition to what I have told Marionjoy (above), I would like to say a couple of things: First, it is said that you know a tree by it fruit.
Men who reduce a relationship with a woman to a time to be in bed with them should be understood by such acts. Is a woman a mere sex object?
Of course there are many temptations that come in the heat of the moment, but I believe self-control helps bring accountability.
Both men and women need to go slowly through their relationship to embrace values that define the relationship.
Second, the fact that you describe the kind of men you meet strange should make you realise how important it is to remain true to your values as you wait for the man who will meet your standards. One person asked me whether such people still exist, and my answer was, “Indeed!”.
Is it strange that after you buy a unique car, you soon start seeing many cars like it.
I encourage you to be patient and continue to model the values you expect to see in the man of your dreams.
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