KITOTO: He married someone he had known for only three weeks

I dated this man for five years, we quarrelled and ended up separating. Shortly after, he married a woman he had dated for just three weeks. PHOTO| FILE| NATION MEDIA GROUP

What you need to know:

  • What keeps coming to mind is that this man left you for another woman. I therefore need to ask: What prompted this? Why did he find it so easy to leave you?
  • It could be that he was with this woman all along but you never knew it, however, if he married a woman he barely knew just to get back at you, he still is not fit for you.
  • f you resign, how many more times are you going to be on the run from those you don’t see eye-to-eye with?

Hi Kitoto,

I dated this man for five years, and we were happy for that duration. One day, however, we quarrelled and ended up separating. Shortly after, he married a woman he had dated for just three weeks. After a week of living together, he came back, telling me that he still loved me very much. I have tried to let him go but my heart refuses to. The worst thing about this situation is that we work together. Should I resign or follow my heart?

Hi there,

What keeps coming to mind is that this man left you for another woman. I therefore need to ask: What prompted this? Why did he find it so easy to leave you? What has changed to make him want to return to you? Also, as you battle with what to do, remember that he is now a married man with a wife in his house. If indeed he rejected you for another, it could just be that he got what he wanted but still wants to use you.

I suggest that you critically consider my questions. If he still feels that he still loves you, then you may need to ask yourself what love is. Love is a choice, not merely a feeling. You also need to hear the truth – there is more to this story – no one just wakes up one day and decides to marry someone he has known for just three weeks. Marriage is not a three-week process.

It could be that he was with this woman all along but you never knew it, however, if he married a woman he barely knew just to get back at you, he still is not fit for you. Don’t set yourself up to be wounded a second time. I also feel that you need to take yourself more seriously. If you become too accepting in such cases, then one could easily question your values and how high you regard yourself. I suggest that you let him live with the choice he made.

As for resigning, if I were you, I wouldn’t do it. If you resign, how many more times are you going to be on the run from those you don’t see eye-to-eye with? If you, however, cannot bring yourself to see him every day, request for a transfer to another department.

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