KITOTO: Love and accept yourself before you do it for others

Dear Kitoto,

Thank you for saying, “I think it is unfair to blame the ladies when you seem to be a partner in the said crime” (Your response to Hakheem on September 25), which is very true. I am in a more or less  similar situation. However, in my case, I don’t mingle at all; I tend to keep to myself. I tried online dating but only found more reasons to just focus on my career since I was not lucky enough to interact with any reasonable man who would look beyond my physical appearance. I don’t blame them since it is considered part of a man’s nature even though I used to get offended when they suggested one-night stands and such things.

All in all, I just want to say thank you for the advise you gave Hakheem. I will put it to use.

BK

Hi,

There is more to life than marriage, career and success. As the old saying goes, “Man’s life does not consist in the abundance  his possessions”.

It is worth noting that there are many unhappy rich people and poor people alike, and many unhappy married and single people as well. We must somehow  discover for ourselves what makes life meaningful.

We must have been created and placed down here to make a difference with our lives.

However, the choices we make in life and our responses to the choices made by others are crucial.

How do they choices affect us? How do they affect the way we live life? Sadly, many live to regret the choices they made or how they reacted to the choices made by other people. Whether in marriage, relationships or business, working through any back issues that might cloud judgement is key.

I agree, blame does nothing but retard our progress in making better and wiser choices in future. If I have great values and enjoy what I do, then I should not look for anything else to complete me; I am complete just as I am . When I choose to love and accept myself, I will discover what it means to love and accept others.

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